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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


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