A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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greetings clarisse...

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!