so... you're a girl,huh?

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Drink this!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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whats up ho

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!