-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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haha

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!