Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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