BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

why are you you touching me ????

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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