Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!