Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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I'll eat your poop

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!