-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

greetings clarisse...

You look exactly like my sister.

Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

all in all it was a good orgy

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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