He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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