showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Sex?

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whats up ho

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!