- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

can i take a dump in your mouth?

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

hey baby i just came in my pants

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

Get in the van.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book