hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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rohypnol. rape drug

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So when' the baby due?

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Macho Man: Release the BOGUS! Woman: What? Super Macho Man: Never mind... no one will get this anyways... wanna go to McDonalds and get a Little Mac? Woman: Ok but I want a Big mac! Macho Man: What is a Big mac? Is it stronger than a little Mac? Woman: Huh? What do you mean? Macho Man: Sigh... and I actually fought Mike Tyson you know... Woman: So you are a boxer huh? Who are you gonna fight next? Macho Man: Sigh... Mr.Dream... Woman: Who the hell is that? Macho Man: a nobody...

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!