"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!