Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Welcome to DIE!

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Glass Basketball

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!