Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

Penis. I got it

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

-hey, come here a minute.

Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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