So when' the baby due?

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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