- Anti-Pickup Line

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go gives phone girl - silence after awkward phone call boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - silence boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy boy manages to get out of the bar boy installs bomb in center of bar boy leaves bar everyone attempts to get out of bar boy locks the door boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- explosion everyone dies MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... door slams

Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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