Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Lesbihonest

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Have you met Ted?

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!