the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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greetings clarisse...

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Do you live around here often?

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Drink this!

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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I have no gag reflex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!