i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

sound of zipper

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

Wanna have sex?

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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