A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

Male: Get in the van.

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!