Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

are you on fire?

Hey, you want a ride?

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Penis. I got it

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

you actually look alright with the lights on.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!