Boy : Gurle: hi

thumb_up thumb_down -38

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

thumb_up thumb_down -114

free candy....

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +163

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

thumb_up thumb_down -104

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

thumb_up thumb_down -57

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

thumb_up thumb_down -224

Lesbihonest

thumb_up thumb_down -113

*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

thumb_up thumb_down +437

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

thumb_up thumb_down +158

Hey wanna smash pissers?

thumb_up thumb_down -147

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!