You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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my dick is 2 inches

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!