I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!