For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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At a drinking place :P: Man: You dare mock the great Sh... Woman: I am sorry I did not mean to humiliate that much... ehehehehe you are just a stupid jlttle nerd and all... :) Man: You will die moral... Woman: What?! Uh... did I mention how awesome you are? What was your name again? Man: You weak pathetic fool! 8 hours later: Woman: Please! Let me stay! Just for a little longer! Barman: Sigh... fine have a drink on the house. Woman: *sips drink and dies* Barman: Mission complete sir, she died instantly! Man: Instantly without pain? THAT WAS PATHETIC! Now... SUICIDE! Barman: No I refuse! Man: Drink it... or face the true WRATH OF SHAO KAHN! Barman: The true wrath? ANYTHING BUT THAT!*Punches himself in the balls hoping he dies from the pain, passes out and tries again* Man Is That your best? That was pathetic! Its official, you suck! Bhahahahahahaha! Moral: Fear the Wrath of Shao Kahn!

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!