Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

Glass Basketball

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!