- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!