Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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-I love you.

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Macho Man: Release the BOGUS! Woman: What? Super Macho Man: Never mind... no one will get this anyways... wanna go to McDonalds and get a Little Mac? Woman: Ok but I want a Big mac! Macho Man: What is a Big mac? Is it stronger than a little Mac? Woman: Huh? What do you mean? Macho Man: Sigh... and I actually fought Mike Tyson you know... Woman: So you are a boxer huh? Who are you gonna fight next? Macho Man: Sigh... Mr.Dream... Woman: Who the hell is that? Macho Man: a nobody...

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!