Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I have no gag reflex.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +165

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +199

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

thumb_up thumb_down +226

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +143

Your skin would make a nice coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +205

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

thumb_up thumb_down +14

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

thumb_up thumb_down -266

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

thumb_up thumb_down +254

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

thumb_up thumb_down +245

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

thumb_up thumb_down +129

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +219

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

thumb_up thumb_down +205

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +194

Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

thumb_up thumb_down +25

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

thumb_up thumb_down +141

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +213

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

thumb_up thumb_down +270

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!