-Get in the Van

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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rohypnol. rape drug

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!