"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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haha

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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