- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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