Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

Lesbihonest

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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