If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Do you live around here often?

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!