At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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I've got candy.

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Sex?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!