Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

Lesbihonest

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

hey Herpes Go Away!

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!