- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

This doesn't have to be a rape.

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book