"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!