- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

I have a really big..... Bank Account

This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

"Next!"

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book