So when' the baby due?

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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-I love you.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!