Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!