Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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I have a gun.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!