-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.


- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!