whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

Are you from Wales, because...well...

He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

How much do you like peanut butter?

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!