- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book