- Anti-Pickup Line

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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