Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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You smell just like my mom...

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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