Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!