Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!