- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Wanna have sex?

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!