damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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