On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

I have a really big..... Bank Account

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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