Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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free candy....

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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