Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!