Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Glass Basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

thumb_up thumb_down -13

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +185

cockface

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

thumb_up thumb_down +36

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

thumb_up thumb_down +92

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

thumb_up thumb_down +101

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

thumb_up thumb_down -138

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

thumb_up thumb_down +156

hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!