- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

Wanna have sex?

Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book