- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

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I've got candy.

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!