"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

Damn you look good in beer goggles.

How much do you like peanut butter?

imgonna r@pe you

hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

I'm desperate, you'll do.

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

rohypnol. rape drug

-Get in the Van

At a drinking place :P: Man: You dare mock the great Sh... Woman: I am sorry I did not mean to humiliate that much... ehehehehe you are just a stupid jlttle nerd and all... :) Man: You will die moral... Woman: What?! Uh... did I mention how awesome you are? What was your name again? Man: You weak pathetic fool! 8 hours later: Woman: Please! Let me stay! Just for a little longer! Barman: Sigh... fine have a drink on the house. Woman: *sips drink and dies* Barman: Mission complete sir, she died instantly! Man: Instantly without pain? THAT WAS PATHETIC! Now... SUICIDE! Barman: No I refuse! Man: Drink it... or face the true WRATH OF SHAO KAHN! Barman: The true wrath? ANYTHING BUT THAT!*Punches himself in the balls hoping he dies from the pain, passes out and tries again* Man Is That your best? That was pathetic! Its official, you suck! Bhahahahahahaha! Moral: Fear the Wrath of Shao Kahn!

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!