Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

Hey wanna smash pissers?

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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