With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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sex me.

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!