-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Do you live around here often?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!