HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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cockface

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!