Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

thumb_up thumb_down +258

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +160

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

thumb_up thumb_down +149

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What's the difference between a duck? An orange

thumb_up thumb_down -77

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

thumb_up thumb_down +34

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +346

-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

thumb_up thumb_down +139

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

thumb_up thumb_down -44

-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

thumb_up thumb_down +162

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

thumb_up thumb_down +137

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!