-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Male: Get in the van.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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