- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...