Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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haha

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!