-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Do you live around here often?

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!