"Hmm...you'll do."

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Male: Get in the van.

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!