-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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haha

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!