How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!