Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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haha

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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