Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Drunk woman enters what she thinks is a bar... (how original). "man gets close to her" Woman: You men are all dogs! Man: Bark bark! Woman: No need to get cheeky with me asshole! Man: Bark bark... Woman proceeds to pass out and wake up at a kennel... "Mandog": Bark bark. Moral: If you think every man is a dog, then you may just be bark barking the wrong tree... or place... I mean dont expect to find nice men at a dirty bar, and dont expect to find horny jerks at your church reunion. (A moral man original... and I actually like this one!)

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Male: Get in the van.

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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Hello children! :D

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!