Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!