Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

thumb_up thumb_down -131

He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Penis. I got it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

thumb_up thumb_down -21

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

free candy....

thumb_up thumb_down

Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

thumb_up thumb_down +972

- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

thumb_up thumb_down +280

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

thumb_up thumb_down +248

- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!