G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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You smell just like my mom...

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!