-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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why are you you touching me ????

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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You look... clean

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!