Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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haha

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!