Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!