Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Glass Basketball

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!