Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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I have no gag reflex.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Are your prices by the hour

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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jack sanders

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!