Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!