Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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