why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Have you met Ted?

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hey bitch

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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So when' the baby due?

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!