You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Nice legs what time do they open

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

thumb_up thumb_down -78

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

thumb_up thumb_down -54

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1,181

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +197

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

thumb_up thumb_down -69

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

thumb_up thumb_down +337

The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

thumb_up thumb_down +35

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!