Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Drink this!

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!