- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

will you marry me

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book