Eat me, I'm organic!

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Do you live around here often?

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!