Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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whats up ho

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!