- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

thumb_up thumb_down

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

thumb_up thumb_down +104

whats up ho

thumb_up thumb_down +21

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +181

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

thumb_up thumb_down +36

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Hey, you want a ride?

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

jack sanders

thumb_up thumb_down -76

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

thumb_up thumb_down -101

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

thumb_up thumb_down +19

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!