Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Hello children! :D

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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will you marry me

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!