Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Have you met Ted?

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Wanna have sex?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!