Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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EVERYONE ELSE

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Do you live around here often?

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!