If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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I'll punch ya!

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Are your prices by the hour

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!