- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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