Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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