Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

all in all it was a good orgy

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!