Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

thumb_up thumb_down +131

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +91

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

thumb_up thumb_down +67

I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

you actually look alright with the lights on.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +81

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +184

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

thumb_up thumb_down +144

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +387

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1,035

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -132

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!