Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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