- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!