Im gonna rape you..

thumb_up thumb_down +13

rohypnol. rape drug

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

thumb_up thumb_down +95

"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

thumb_up thumb_down +166

Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

thumb_up thumb_down +251

Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +156

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +51

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +191

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

thumb_up thumb_down +161

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

thumb_up thumb_down +20

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

thumb_up thumb_down +139

i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!