- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I'll punch ya!

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

will you marry me

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

Glass Basketball

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book