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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Want to go out? No

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!