- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

i am with stupid l l l \/

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

Give me some sugar... honey.

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book