That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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You smell just like my mom...

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!