Nice hair, can I pull it?

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!