- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

Do you want to see something swell?

I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book