- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Im gonna rape you..

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!