M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!