http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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greetings clarisse...

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!