Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!