Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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So when' the baby due?

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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adam burdass

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!