He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Lesbihonest

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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