- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

Glass Basketball

Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. unzips pants

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book