My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Do you live around here often?

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!