If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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