A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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I've got candy.

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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