With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

sex me.

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

Put the lotion on the skin!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!