If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!