Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!