Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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"Don't scream"

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!