He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

who wants to play EPAR

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

whats up ho

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!