Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

Golf.

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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