-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Soon

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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hey bitch

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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you look like my mother

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!