so... you're a girl,huh?

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Drink this!

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!