Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!