-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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are you on fire?

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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