- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"Next!"

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book