MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Soon

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!