-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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jack sanders

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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you look like my mother

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!