Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

I have no gag reflex.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

Your skin would make a nice coat.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!