- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book