Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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you look like my mother

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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