- Anti-Pickup Line

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

are you on fire?

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! shows me boobs Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

Lesbihonest

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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