Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

thumb_up thumb_down +198

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

thumb_up thumb_down -62

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

thumb_up thumb_down -160

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

you look like my mother

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

thumb_up thumb_down +134

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

thumb_up thumb_down +176

Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

thumb_up thumb_down +59

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +140

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

thumb_up thumb_down +137

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

thumb_up thumb_down +126

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!