Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -81

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

thumb_up thumb_down -71

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +244

Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

thumb_up thumb_down -149

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

thumb_up thumb_down -205

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!