Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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I have no gag reflex.

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!