You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!