Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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"You'll do."

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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