- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book