Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!