Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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