- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

I think I shit myself

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!