Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!