My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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whats up ho

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!