You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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You smell just like my mom...

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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