i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

hey baby i just came in my pants

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!