- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Wanna have sex?

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book