If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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You look exactly like my sister.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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my dick is 2 inches

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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