M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

thumb_up thumb_down +128

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

thumb_up thumb_down -16

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +331

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

thumb_up thumb_down +246

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

thumb_up thumb_down +164

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

thumb_up thumb_down -167

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

thumb_up thumb_down +58

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -223

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

thumb_up thumb_down -811

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!