- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

is your name angel cuz that's all i see? is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- sound of gun clicking Woman: Thanks!

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book