Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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You look... clean

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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are you on fire?

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!