Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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"You'll do."

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!