Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

I'm desperate, you'll do.

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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