Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Welcome to DIE!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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nice kid... want another?

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!