on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

hey you look like a good practice girl.

Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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