What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!