hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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nice kid... want another?

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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-Do you like me? -No

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!