you look like my mother

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!