I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

I've got candy.

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!