Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!