Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

Stable relationships are for horses.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!