- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book