- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

is your name angel cuz that's all i see? is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p** makes a happy c*

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book