boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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are you on fire?

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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-Get in the Van

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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