Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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I'll punch ya!

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Hello children! :D

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!