- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: sigh Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.