male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

"You'll do."

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!