EVERYONE ELSE

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

Boy : Gurle: hi

Not a pickup line, but sincerity: Look for somebody you like, it does not matter what in particular you love about this person, so lets put me as the guy in two examples. Me: Lovely scarf you got there. Woman: Here take it. Me: Wow. Its no typical me to be into women's clothing in fact I do not give a damn about clothing at all, so I ask my female friends to buy clothes for me to pick up what they think I look my best in, I mean what is wrong by looking good in the eyes of your girls eh? but I must really have loved that scarf, because it was no pick up failure, because in this example I sincerely loved that scarf... Now this one. Me: I love that scarf you got there. Woman: Sigh, take it and leave me alone. Me: Here, have it back, I do not like the scarf, I like how beautiful you make the scarf look, are you willing to give me a chance, to get to know the girl that can make this scarf so beautiful? You are female and resist me? That is okay, you do however give me the motivation to become a better person, so that you might give me another chance, sometime if we meet again, and if we do not, thank you for giving me so much already. Honesty Pros: No lies Cons: I am experienced with being myself P Lies: Pros: Hey a free scarf I pretend to like yay? Cons: If you have what it takes, why do you then have to lie? Then you are not only lying to her, but also to yourself. And if your lie works, how many lies will you have to keep creating, until the fear of failure rather than the peace and love, breaks your heart and hers? Moral: Sure you know now you lie about the scarf, about her shirt, about her wig, and you lose a lot... But if you had to lie about it, admit it or live in self denial: You lost nothing sir! You never had it in the first place

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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