Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Gaywatch starts

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!