A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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haha

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!