M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

thumb_up thumb_down -74

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

thumb_up thumb_down +402

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +400

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

thumb_up thumb_down -161

- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

thumb_up thumb_down -30

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down -160

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -127

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

thumb_up thumb_down +204

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

thumb_up thumb_down +196

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +143

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!