Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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