He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!