- Anti-Pickup Line

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

Hey, you want a ride?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

GET IN THE VAN!!!

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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