- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

Male: Get in the van.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

you actually look alright with the lights on.

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book