A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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I'll punch ya!

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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sex me.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!