- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

i am with stupid l l l \/

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

"Hmm...you'll do."

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book