-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!