Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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You allergic to semen?

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Walking to your car alone later?

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Want to go out? No

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!