I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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