Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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