- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

imgonna r@pe you

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

Do you live around here often?

your almost as hot as my wife

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

on Halloween Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book