Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

Happy BirthdaySean!

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

greetings clarisse...

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!