Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

thumb_up thumb_down -10

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

thumb_up thumb_down +138

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

thumb_up thumb_down +56

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

thumb_up thumb_down -82

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

thumb_up thumb_down +60

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

greetings clarisse...

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Drink this!

thumb_up thumb_down +97

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

thumb_up thumb_down -188

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

thumb_up thumb_down +107

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Does it smell in here or it just you?

thumb_up thumb_down -124

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!