- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! Woman slams man with baseball bat Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book