hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

Jdkfk

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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