- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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"You'll do."

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!