Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Stop Footing Around

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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