Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -246

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

thumb_up thumb_down +169

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

thumb_up thumb_down +32

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

thumb_up thumb_down +151

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

thumb_up thumb_down +42

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

thumb_up thumb_down -108

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

thumb_up thumb_down -9

He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +161

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +196

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +128

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!