Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

why are you you touching me ????

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Yeah... you'll have to do.

Lesbihonest

Stop Footing Around

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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