the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!