- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

At a concert guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

Business Y U No Advertise?

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book