Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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EVERYONE ELSE

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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