A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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nice kid... want another?

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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I think I shit myself

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Are your prices by the hour

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!