Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!