Five dollar women... WOO!

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

How much do you like peanut butter?

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

hey baby i just came in my pants

Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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