- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!