man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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your almost as hot as my wife

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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you look like my mother

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!