If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

thumb_up thumb_down -81

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

thumb_up thumb_down -52

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Hey wanna smash pissers?

thumb_up thumb_down -149

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

thumb_up thumb_down -324

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

thumb_up thumb_down -103

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Hello children! :D

thumb_up thumb_down -30

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

thumb_up thumb_down +112

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

thumb_up thumb_down +17

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!