You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!