- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

Do you want to see something swell?

-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book