You allergic to semen?

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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EVERYONE ELSE

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!