- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Lesbihonest

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!