Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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I have no gag reflex.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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my dick is 2 inches

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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