Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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imgonna r@pe you

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Have you met Ted?

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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greetings clarisse...

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


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