Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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my dick is 2 inches

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Hello children! :D

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!