-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!