I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Welcome to DIE!

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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nice kid... want another?

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!