ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!