-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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- You look really nice - I know

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You allergic to semen?

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!