Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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"Next!"

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!