Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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free candy....

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!