Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

you look like my mother

thumb_up thumb_down +71

So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +125

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

thumb_up thumb_down +155

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

thumb_up thumb_down +188

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

thumb_up thumb_down +358

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +85

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

thumb_up thumb_down +86

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +367

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down -179

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!