What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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You look... clean

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!