- Anti-Pickup Line

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it

-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

cockface

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh blushing or something Because it looks like you landed on your face.

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

imgonna r@pe you

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

Golf.

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

-I love you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!