What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Drink this!

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!