You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!