Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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"Next!"

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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You look... clean

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!