Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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who wants to play EPAR

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!