Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

Have you met Ted?

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

-Do you like me? -No

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

whats up ho

-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!