male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

thumb_up thumb_down -150

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yo imma let you finish yourself off

thumb_up thumb_down +49

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

thumb_up thumb_down -161

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

thumb_up thumb_down -559

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

thumb_up thumb_down -173

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

thumb_up thumb_down -112

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

thumb_up thumb_down -95

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Hey, you want a ride?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +189

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

thumb_up thumb_down +181

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!