Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!