Penis. I got it

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!