he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!