hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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I have no gag reflex.

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"Don't scream"

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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my dick is 2 inches

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!