i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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I'll eat your poop

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Glass Basketball

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!