Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Nice legs what time do they open

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!