- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Are your prices by the hour

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Penis. I got it

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Lol, waifu and Rebecca are like "do you have to type so much? Come back prince charming... ...I Am all NO! AND CALL ME MASTER BISON. SO ANYWAY SHORT coMMENT SEE? I DONT HAVE TO TYPE AS MUCH! AND NOW THAT THEY ARE ALL LAUGHING BECAUSE OF MY SHEET HERE I JUST KEEP TYPING YOU KNOW BECAUSE THEY ARE HANGING OVER ME AND I CANT MOVE.:: GIrls read this: (not you ladies not yet, I am talking about my gals here) IF YOU WANT ME TO JOIN YOU, MOVE THE FUCK OVER TO EACH OF YOUR SIDES, SO I CAN GET UP, YOU CAN SQUEEZE ON TOP OF EACH OTHER SO I CAN DO YOU BOTH. Lol Rebecca is all like "He is not really posting that stuff right? "Hey Nero you are not going to post that stuff are you? Lol Harris, does your sister know me again? Ps: Dont worry folks, I mean Harris is like my bro from another ho, seriously, I bang his sister, he goes like "THERE IS A GOOD CATCH SON!" And kept giving me the thumbs ups when she liked Anal too much and could not sit. ANYWAYSSSSSSS SHORT COMMENT GET! (Sorry id type more, but I think my dick is alive again... IT MUST DROWN IN THE JUICES OF WITCHES OF ENCHANT! "I wont post this Rebecca? Lol, you know why I do not care about their opinion Rebecca lady" BECAUSE I AM AWESOME, AND THEY ARE NOOOOOOOOOOT! Oh you do not want your bro to know... Rebbeca chan... Your bro just sent me a thumbs ups and "take good care of her bro" Yeah let me put this incredibly good laptop away and show you. Ps: SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!