Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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You allergic to semen?

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Wanna have sex?

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!