can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Golf.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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