You smell just like my mom...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

thumb_up thumb_down +121

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

thumb_up thumb_down -110

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

thumb_up thumb_down +92

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

thumb_up thumb_down -60

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

thumb_up thumb_down +150

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

thumb_up thumb_down -2

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

thumb_up thumb_down +278

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!