Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!