bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!