Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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"You'll do."

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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