Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!