Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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Gaywatch starts

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Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

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Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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- You look really nice - I know

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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