Penis. I got it

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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my dick is 2 inches

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hey bitch

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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I'll eat your poop

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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