Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

thumb_up thumb_down +69

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

thumb_up thumb_down

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

thumb_up thumb_down -23

-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

thumb_up thumb_down -34

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

thumb_up thumb_down -131

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

thumb_up thumb_down -74

he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

thumb_up thumb_down -18

In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!