Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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greetings clarisse...

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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hey bitch

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Want to go out? No

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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you look like my mother

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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I'll punch ya!

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!