- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"You'll do."

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book