Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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"Next!"

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!