- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

thumb_up thumb_down +162

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

thumb_up thumb_down +4

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

thumb_up thumb_down +131

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down +88

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

thumb_up thumb_down +161

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

thumb_up thumb_down +49

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +294

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

thumb_up thumb_down -184

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!