M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

thumb_up thumb_down +220

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

thumb_up thumb_down +162

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

thumb_up thumb_down -24

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

thumb_up thumb_down +31

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +483

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

thumb_up thumb_down +207

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!