What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

This doesn't have to be a rape.

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!