Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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imgonna r@pe you

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!