He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!