"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Are your prices by the hour

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!