adam burdass

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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