Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!