You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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are you on fire?

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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