Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

nice kid... want another?

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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