Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -208

girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +135

hey you look like a good practice girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +60

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -182

"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

thumb_up thumb_down +131

Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!