Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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-Get in the Van

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!