-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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- You look really nice - I know

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Soon

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!