-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!