Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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greetings clarisse...

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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"Don't scream"

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!