- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

Hey wanna smash pissers?

- You look really nice - I know

"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

sex me.

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book