If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!