On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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You smell just like my mom...

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!