- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. sneeze

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh blushing or something Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book