- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! grabs couch WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: dead Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

are you on fire?

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book