- Anti-Pickup Line

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

Hey, you want a ride?

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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