He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

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whats up ho

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Do you live around here often?

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!