The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

thumb_up thumb_down -45

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

thumb_up thumb_down +35

-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

your almost as hot as my wife

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

thumb_up thumb_down -25

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

thumb_up thumb_down +163

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

thumb_up thumb_down -97

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down +169

-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +266

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

thumb_up thumb_down -21

You look exactly like my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

thumb_up thumb_down +55

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

thumb_up thumb_down +148

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

thumb_up thumb_down +157

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!