-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Drink this!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!