MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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nice kid... want another?

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!