- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

cockface

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book