Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Do you want to see something swell?

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!