-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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sex me.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Morals, greatest weakness revealed!: Doctor doctor! I cannot succeed at... pant pant *shorts shorts* *whine wheeze* at... At... AAAAAARGUUUUUU!!! FUCKING DOCTOR I CANNOT SUCCED AT... THE PAAAAAYNE! MAX PAYNE! BUHUHUHUHU!!! THE PAAAAINYE I CANNOT...SUCCEED AT... Doctor: At what? Shutting the fuck up? AND LEAVE THE HORSHEHEAD NETWORK? Moral: XD I cannot stop laughing, I am crying fucking tears of laughter :)) I was completely not gonna type that but then it spontaneously suddenly idea get! XD Moral: Green thumbs for self irony, this comment shall get one green thumbs ups, and it shall one green thumbs ups get, and the number of thumbs ups shall be one, as one be the number of thumbs ups. Moral: And I have not even said anything Moral: I deserve that green thumb this time! I earned it! SHAAAME YOU DARE SPOILMY GREEN THUMB OF VICTOLY WITH YOUR RED THUMB! SHAAAME! BUILD THE WALL OF FAILURE! FASTER STRONGER HARDER! I CURSE SHAME UPON YOUR SHAME AND BATHE IT IN THE WATER AND FLAMES OF SHAAAAAME! ALL BEFORE I SPrinkle it with small bits of sugar... AND SHAAAAME! LEAVE THE GREEN THUMB ALONE!!!! BUAHUAHAHA! LEAVE IT ALONEEEEEEEEE! Moral: HEEEY HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! I SAID ONE GREEN THUMB! ONE! AND ONLY MINE! SHAME!!!!

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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-Do you like me? -No

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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