Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Do you want to see something swell?

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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