Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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