Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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