I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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adam burdass

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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Im gonna rape you..

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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