- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

Golf.

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Does it smell in here or it just you?

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book