- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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Stop Footing Around

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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-hey, come here a minute.

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!