-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

Nice hair, can I pull it?

Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!