GET IN THE VAN!!!

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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why are you you touching me ????

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Not a pickup line, but sincerity: Look for somebody you like, it does not matter what in particular you love about this person, so lets put me as the guy in two examples. Me: Lovely scarf you got there. Woman: Here take it. Me: Wow. Its no typical me to be into women's clothing in fact I do not give a damn about clothing at all, so I ask my female friends to buy clothes for me to pick up what they think I look my best in, I mean what is wrong by looking good in the eyes of your girls eh? but I must really have loved that scarf, because it was no pick up failure, because in this example I sincerely loved that scarf... Now this one. Me: I love that scarf you got there. Woman: Sigh, take it and leave me alone. Me: Here, have it back, I do not like the scarf, I like how beautiful you make the scarf look, are you willing to give me a chance, to get to know the girl that can make this scarf so beautiful? You are female and resist me? That is okay, you do however give me the motivation to become a better person, so that you might give me another chance, sometime if we meet again, and if we do not, thank you for giving me so much already. Honesty Pros: No lies Cons: I am experienced with being myself P Lies: Pros: Hey a free scarf I pretend to like yay? Cons: If you have what it takes, why do you then have to lie? Then you are not only lying to her, but also to yourself. And if your lie works, how many lies will you have to keep creating, until the fear of failure rather than the peace and love, breaks your heart and hers? Moral: Sure you know now you lie about the scarf, about her shirt, about her wig, and you lose a lot... But if you had to lie about it, admit it or live in self denial: You lost nothing sir! You never had it in the first place

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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