Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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hey bitch

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!