I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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"Don't scream"

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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I have no gag reflex.

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!