If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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