- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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