- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"Hmm...you'll do."

Does it smell in here or it just you?

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

I have a gun.

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

Stop Footing Around

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book