If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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