-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

Male: Get in the van.

-hey, come here a minute.

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

I have no gag reflex.

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

Stop Footing Around

Im gonna rape you..

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!