Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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You smell just like my mom...

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!