A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!