Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!