Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!