Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

thumb_up thumb_down +116

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

thumb_up thumb_down +98

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

thumb_up thumb_down +106

I love Mark Wahlberg!

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

thumb_up thumb_down +54

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +265

M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

thumb_up thumb_down -785

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

thumb_up thumb_down +172

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

thumb_up thumb_down +105

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +70

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

thumb_up thumb_down -68

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

thumb_up thumb_down +126

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!