Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Gaywatch starts

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!