Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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"Next!"

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!