girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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