Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!