Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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-Do you like me? -No

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!