Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!