- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

Yeah... you'll have to do.

Male: Get in the van.

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one sticks up middle finger

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! walks away disgusted Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book