- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!