-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!