Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

I have no gag reflex.

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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