Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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jack sanders

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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