You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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"Don't scream"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!