You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

Lol man, you know this man would never sue your ass, but... Man it takes a message here to see that you are like a super whigger. Anyway DAD! Thanks for the kind words, and seriously, you dont kiss ass on regular basis just one thing, you can reply wherever, text is cool You got the hots for your sister dude? I mean the deal was 50 uh words? Letters? Anyway its good, but DAD!... You know I never asked you to write anything about your sisters ass, its kinda weird DAD! Anyway, what do I judge, I banged my 7 years old sister back at the days where I still called her mom... Well she trained me, then I returned with the force, and now her husband kinda knows my deal and... I STILL BANG HER! <<<<< Anyway, man, keep the cash, I just wanted to show the world... Moral: Ladies and gentlemen, and this is how you make someone and anyone your bitch! Nothing personal DAD! You know that as far as I care, all my friends kneel before while my enemies are crushed under my mighty heel. Charisma... Kiddo, I know you are struggling with cash and stuff, but seriously, just for that one online, (your sisters story which id never ask you to go for helps) BUT If you have read this far (BECAUSE THE WORDS OF YOUR DARK OVERLORD ARE LAW) Then just send me a reply saying 666 and I will pay to fix whatever the hell is wrong with your car man, I cant stand the sound, and I know you can pay up, its just that times are down... ...For you. Actual code 999 (not satanist here, I hate all religion) post 666 and ill get someone to slice your tires instead.

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

Boy : Gurle: hi

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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