-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!