Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!