Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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