I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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-hey, come here a minute.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!