Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

jack sanders

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

Nice hair, can I pull it?

How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!