Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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-Do you like me? -No

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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