- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

free candy....

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book