Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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will you marry me

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Wanna have sex?

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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