-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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You smell just like my mom...

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Jdkfk

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!