- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

Give me some sugar... honey.

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

"Don't scream"

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book