- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

Damn you look good in beer goggles.

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book