"OMG A SAMSUNG!" Lol, thats cool man, as for the car, the engine is shiny and flawless, (you know for a fiat) and I have not used it since I you know "bought it" as in won it from my ex while playing poker? Id give it back to her if she was not such a bitch. Honestly dude, its a fiat, and that piece of shit you call a car, I mean man, we have been towed from the free way like six times already? XD And that is just the few times I want to sit in that piece of shit XD I mean the seats pop off and there is "custom space to transport marijuana there man XD" I seriously hope you bought it that way, because stoners aint my friends. Seriously dude, the Fiat (aka "car") is yours, you know that you are bankrupt because you keep trying to fix that piece of shit on wheels of yours XD, and hey, surprise kiddo, I renewed the engine, so its new and shiny, and free, and fuck if not only the engine itself is worth ten more times than... A billion of those pieces of shit you drive XD No seriously, you know me, Im The Hannibal, I am the beast but I like it classy, and its pretty embarrassing sitting on that piece of shit you call for a car. I know we are from different worlds pal, but take it, just gave myself a bonus at work (legal of course) but I got to say it... "A SAMSUNG OMG" XD And yeah, I know you been eyeballing that "car" aka Fiat, its yours whenever you want it, just tell people I am leasing it to you (I mean it I really do, thats my only condition) Moral: "I DRIVE PIECES OF SHIT FOR BREAKFAST!" PROTIP FOR GETTING ANYWHERE IN YOUR CAR: Put it The opposite way, and have the towing car tow you TOWARDS the place you want to get to XD (hey, how many times you been towed JUST from the freeway? I mean I hate hunting, but do you really use that shit in the Forrest too? Answer here, be real, and come get your car.

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

imgonna r@pe you

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

hey baby i just came in my pants

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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