Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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You allergic to semen?

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!