The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!