Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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cockface

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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nice kid... want another?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!