Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

thumb_up thumb_down -176

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I love Mark Wahlberg!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

thumb_up thumb_down +152

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

thumb_up thumb_down -76

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

thumb_up thumb_down +226

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You look exactly like my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

thumb_up thumb_down -90

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

thumb_up thumb_down +135

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

thumb_up thumb_down -62

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +276

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +116

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

thumb_up thumb_down -99

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!