Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

I'll eat your poop

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

Damn you look good in beer goggles.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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