- Anti-Pickup Line

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

I hate you already.

McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! shows me boobs Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

Stop Footing Around

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

sound of zipper

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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