- Anti-Pickup Line

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... All the women fall into a "healing coma Superman: scratches head Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:Healing coma

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

"Hmm...you'll do."

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

on Halloween Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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