He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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"You'll do."

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!