-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

Give me some sugar... honey.

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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