-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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You smell just like my mom...

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Glass Basketball

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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