Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!