H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

Hey, you want a ride?

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

Gaywatch starts

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

why are you you touching me ????

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!