-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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You smell just like my mom...

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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I have a gun.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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