While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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