F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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