- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

why are you you touching me ????

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book