- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: bitchslap get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

I have a really big..... Bank Account

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

I'm desperate, you'll do.

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book