- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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hey bitch

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Male: Get in the van.

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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