-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!