I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

Soon

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

I hate you already.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!