- Anti-Pickup Line

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man takes off makeup and fake blood Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean blush really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! shows me boobs Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

I have a really big..... Bank Account

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! Woman laughs Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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