Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Want to go out? No

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!