- Anti-Pickup Line

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

greetings clarisse...

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

free candy....

If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Your skin would make a nice coat.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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