Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!