Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!