- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

nice kid... want another?

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book