- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

Hey wanna smash pissers?

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book