Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

thumb_up thumb_down -5

M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +148

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

hey bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +8

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

thumb_up thumb_down +54

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

thumb_up thumb_down -32

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!