hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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why are you you touching me ????

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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