Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Gaywatch starts

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!