- Anti-Pickup Line

Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

Sigh, reminds me I am banging a girl named Tina, and one named Line right? Plus my wife whose name I wont reveal because she matters (Line, Tina, you do not!) Anyway, when people ask me "what the hell was that noise Nero (No idea what Neronism is, fuck him for stealing my name) I tell them "meh I was just screwing Line and Tina" People always go like... Man... YOU DONT HAVE TO LIE TO ME SON! YOU GOT STREET CRED HERE MODAFOCA! Tina and Line? You cant come up with better names SON? EH? If you wanna lie to me again SON, Then you get some original names SON! And I go like... So, can your sister sit down now? And he goes all like SHEET, was that you? Nice score man! And then I went "thats your sister you know that right?" Anyway, you want me now? INSTA ANTI PICKUPLINE... BECAUSE WHO NEEDS PICKUPLINES AT ALL! I AM JUST BEING MEEEEEEEEEEE! AND YOU MIGHT HATE ME!!!!!!! BUT YOU WOMEN STILL END UP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU HATE THAT GUY YOU FUCKED LAST NIGHT! AND YOUR GIRLFRIENDS! Man... I need another Smoke... SMOKE WINS FAILTALITY. Ps: Yo Harris, stop congratzing me for banging your sister, she is not a nice catch for youz! She is your sistah DUDE! STOP GIVING ME THE THUMBS UPS EVERYTIME SHE COMPLAINS HER ASS IS STILL SORE... I mean does he get it? Or does youz congrats me because you dont understand that Rebecca your "innocent" sister is really into anal something I usually just reserve for the... actually good girls...

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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