You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!