- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Yo imma let you finish yourself off

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

How much do you like peanut butter?

Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book