Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!