men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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Want to go out? No

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!