M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

my dick is 2 inches

EVERYONE ELSE

Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

i am with stupid l l l \/

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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