- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

Hey wanna smash pissers?

haha

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

hey Herpes Go Away!

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

Hello children! :D

I love Mark Wahlberg!

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! grabs couch WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: dead Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book