Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

why are you you touching me ????

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

Boy : Gurle: hi

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

Hey, you want a ride?

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!