Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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