I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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Nice legs what time do they open

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You allergic to semen?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!