- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

You allergic to semen?

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

What's the difference between a duck? An orange

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

whats up ho

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book