Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!