- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

sex me.

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.