Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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I've got candy.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Have you met Ted?

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!