Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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nice kid... want another?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!