- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book