- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!