Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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Im gonna rape you..

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!