"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!