- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" crying "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

-Do you like me? -No

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

"Hmm...you'll do."

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

sex me.

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book