Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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