roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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imgonna r@pe you

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!