- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!