Stop Footing Around

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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