Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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"You'll do."

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Penis. I got it

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!