Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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I have no gag reflex.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!