Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

imgonna r@pe you

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Five dollar women... WOO!

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

Gaywatch starts

Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!