- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: sigh Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book