Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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-Do you like me? -No

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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Have you met Ted?

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!