I have a really big..... Bank Account

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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cockface

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!