WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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You allergic to semen?

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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haha

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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"You'll do."

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!