- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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You look... clean

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!