Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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whats up ho

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Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!