- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

I think I shit myself

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

will you marry me

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book