You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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