girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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You smell just like my mom...

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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nice kid... want another?

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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