You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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Have you met Ted?

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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So when' the baby due?

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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