if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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you look like my mother

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!