- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! Woman slams man with baseball bat Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! Throws couch at woman WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: dead Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl pulls up sleeve

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!