Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!