On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

Sorry to take up space, but this is simply my reply to the vile threats to that person whose line starts with "what did you say little bitch", know that he has no idea what he is talking about, and is possibly a simple mental case. Seriously, who the hell are you? And even so, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah with your terrible lack of discipline there is no way in hell you are or would become a soldier. You know very well that the navy would never waste its resources on helping your selfish and childish acts of revenge (or whatever you seek) Death threats will get you nowhere, and you can fully threaten me, but know that I live in Norway, and you can trace me and send your whole unit (if you had one) but by then you would solely be responsible for acts of war and be properly executed for international treason. Know your place civilian, we fight to protect you, do not shame us with your childish vendetta. Drill Sergeant Axel "Strength" Godøy. Aka "Moral Man" Ps: Threaten anyone again, and I will fill a full report and assure that your IP is banned from this network, you are shaming your people, your country and all that fight to defend world peace, try me out and see, give me that luxury.

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Yeah... you'll have to do.

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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