Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!