- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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are you on fire?

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"Don't scream"

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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I have no gag reflex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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