If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!