- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book