-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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