- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

You smell just like my mom...

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

you actually look alright with the lights on.

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book