Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!