-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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