- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: Heart attack

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

Drink this!

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

What's the difference between a duck? An orange

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book