When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

hey bitch

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

Does it smell in here or it just you?

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

Yeah... you'll have to do.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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