Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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