Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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You look... clean

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!