does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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"You'll do."

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!