- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Penis. I got it

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!