- Anti-Pickup Line

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! Connection discontinued Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

your almost as hot as my wife

Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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