Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Walking to your car alone later?

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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