Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!