Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

Does it smell in here or it just you?

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

Gaywatch starts

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!