- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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