http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!