Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Im gonna rape you..

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!