nice kid... want another?

You look exactly like my sister.

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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