Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

-I love you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!