Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

thumb_up thumb_down +95

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

thumb_up thumb_down -76

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

-hey, come here a minute.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +119

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Wanna have sex?

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +80

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

thumb_up thumb_down +46

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!