Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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