- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I've got candy.

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is zip FEMALE: gurgle gurgle scream

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... yawn Zzzzzzzmooth...

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book