Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Im gonna rape you..

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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your almost as hot as my wife

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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my dick is 2 inches

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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You look... clean

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Want to go out? No

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!