Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!