Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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imgonna r@pe you

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!