Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Are your prices by the hour

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

Hey, you want a ride?

are you on fire?

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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