I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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"Next!"

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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