- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

Glass Basketball

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book