- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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-I love you.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!