Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

Lesbihonest

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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