- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Does it smell in here or it just you?

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

You look... clean

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book