- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

I've got candy.

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

fancy going halves on a bastard?

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book