"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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