- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

free candy....

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

nice kid... want another?

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

sex me.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book