nice kid... want another?

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!