- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

This doesn't have to be a rape.

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh blushing or something Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book