You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!