-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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Lol, waifu and Rebecca are like "do you have to type so much? Come back prince charming... ...I Am all NO! AND CALL ME MASTER BISON. SO ANYWAY SHORT coMMENT SEE? I DONT HAVE TO TYPE AS MUCH! AND NOW THAT THEY ARE ALL LAUGHING BECAUSE OF MY SHEET HERE I JUST KEEP TYPING YOU KNOW BECAUSE THEY ARE HANGING OVER ME AND I CANT MOVE.:: GIrls read this: (not you ladies not yet, I am talking about my gals here) IF YOU WANT ME TO JOIN YOU, MOVE THE FUCK OVER TO EACH OF YOUR SIDES, SO I CAN GET UP, YOU CAN SQUEEZE ON TOP OF EACH OTHER SO I CAN DO YOU BOTH. Lol Rebecca is all like "He is not really posting that stuff right? "Hey Nero you are not going to post that stuff are you? Lol Harris, does your sister know me again? Ps: Dont worry folks, I mean Harris is like my bro from another ho, seriously, I bang his sister, he goes like "THERE IS A GOOD CATCH SON!" And kept giving me the thumbs ups when she liked Anal too much and could not sit. ANYWAYSSSSSSS SHORT COMMENT GET! (Sorry id type more, but I think my dick is alive again... IT MUST DROWN IN THE JUICES OF WITCHES OF ENCHANT! "I wont post this Rebecca? Lol, you know why I do not care about their opinion Rebecca lady" BECAUSE I AM AWESOME, AND THEY ARE NOOOOOOOOOOT! Oh you do not want your bro to know... Rebbeca chan... Your bro just sent me a thumbs ups and "take good care of her bro" Yeah let me put this incredibly good laptop away and show you. Ps: SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOORT!

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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