do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!