Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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will you marry me

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Nice legs what time do they open

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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-I love you.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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why are you you touching me ????

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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who wants to play EPAR

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!