Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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"Don't scream"

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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