Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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