Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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