Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!