This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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You look... clean

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!