Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!