Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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