him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Do you live around here often?

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Sex?

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!