You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

Business Y U No Advertise?

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

Do you live around here often?

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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