-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!