can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Soon

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!