That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!