A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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I'll eat your poop

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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