- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book