Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!