why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!