Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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-Get in the Van

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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my dick is 2 inches

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Jdkfk

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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