-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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You smell just like my mom...

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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cockface

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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You allergic to semen?

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"Don't scream"

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!