He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!