Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

thumb_up thumb_down -27

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +103

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

thumb_up thumb_down +97

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Soon

thumb_up thumb_down -72

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +159

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

thumb_up thumb_down +165

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!