-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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