Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

thumb_up thumb_down -198

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

thumb_up thumb_down +213

Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

thumb_up thumb_down -72

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

thumb_up thumb_down +39

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

thumb_up thumb_down -34

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

thumb_up thumb_down -145

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

thumb_up thumb_down

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!