My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!