- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

"Next!"

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! Throws couch at woman WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: dead Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one sticks up middle finger

Business Y U No Advertise?

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book