Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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