Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!