My therapist says I should meet new people.

-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

Are you from Wales, because...well...

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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