- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

Business Y U No Advertise?

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... stabs

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book