Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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