Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!