I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!