You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!