Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!