Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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haha

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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So when' the baby due?

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Drunk woman enters what she thinks is a bar... (how original). "man gets close to her" Woman: You men are all dogs! Man: Bark bark! Woman: No need to get cheeky with me asshole! Man: Bark bark... Woman proceeds to pass out and wake up at a kennel... "Mandog": Bark bark. Moral: If you think every man is a dog, then you may just be bark barking the wrong tree... or place... I mean dont expect to find nice men at a dirty bar, and dont expect to find horny jerks at your church reunion. (A moral man original... and I actually like this one!)

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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You allergic to semen?

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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nice kid... want another?

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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