girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!