You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Glass Basketball

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!