Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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