male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!