Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!