haha

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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"You'll do."

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!