Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

thumb_up thumb_down +33

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +905

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

thumb_up thumb_down +85

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -111

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +198

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I'll punch ya!

thumb_up thumb_down +84

hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Five dollar women... WOO!

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

thumb_up thumb_down +87

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

nice kid... want another?

thumb_up thumb_down +99

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!