Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!