- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

Walking to your car alone later?

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

your boobs are bigger than my nose

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book