-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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