- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

Get in the van.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

cockface

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

I think I shit myself

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book