The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Male: Get in the van.

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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jack sanders

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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whats up ho

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!