- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: Heart attack

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

on Halloween Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book