Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!