Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Man: Hey... wanna join me at my big mansion and have a friendly discussion? Girl: A mansion eh? Well.. sure! At the mansion: Man: MUAHAHAHAHA! I am gonna r@pe you! Girl: NO PLEASE! I am not drun.. uh not ready yet! 5 minutes later: Woman: OUCH! ouchie! That hurts! Stop it! ITS TOO HARD! Man: HAHA AND TAKE THIS GRAPE! AND THIS GRAPE! Oh... never mind this is one has turned a raisin... AND THIS GRAPE!... so uh... anyway wanna move on to the "lovers room" later? Want some more Champagne by the way? AND THIS GRAPE, AND THIS ONE IS REALLY BIG AND HARD! GET READY! Woman: Yeah sure... sigh... just get done with this weirdness already... damn these eccentric millionaires... OUCH! OOF!

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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