Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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haha

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!