Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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whats up ho

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Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

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-Get in the Van

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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sound of zipper

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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