Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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"Next!"

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!