Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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haha

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!