- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

What's the difference between a duck? An orange

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p** makes a happy c*

Yeah... you'll have to do.

whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book