Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Lesbihonest

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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