You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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