Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!