"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

thumb_up thumb_down +45

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

thumb_up thumb_down +158

Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Want to go out? No

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

thumb_up thumb_down -43

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

thumb_up thumb_down +115

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +131

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +14

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

thumb_up thumb_down -27

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!