Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Drunk woman enters what she thinks is a bar... (how original). "man gets close to her" Woman: You men are all dogs! Man: Bark bark! Woman: No need to get cheeky with me asshole! Man: Bark bark... Woman proceeds to pass out and wake up at a kennel... "Mandog": Bark bark. Moral: If you think every man is a dog, then you may just be bark barking the wrong tree... or place... I mean dont expect to find nice men at a dirty bar, and dont expect to find horny jerks at your church reunion. (A moral man original... and I actually like this one!)

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Drink this!

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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free candy....

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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