- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!