Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Lesbihonest

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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