- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

you look like my mother

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

What's the difference between a duck? An orange

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.