Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Want to go out? No

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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-Get in the Van

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!