Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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