Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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