Are your prices by the hour

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!