Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

thumb_up thumb_down +109

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

thumb_up thumb_down +142

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

thumb_up thumb_down +224

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

thumb_up thumb_down +236

are you on fire?

thumb_up thumb_down -59

-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

thumb_up thumb_down -63

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

thumb_up thumb_down +128

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

thumb_up thumb_down +183

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

thumb_up thumb_down +136

hey bitch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I love Mark Wahlberg!

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Glass Basketball

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!