Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Penis. I got it

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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will you marry me

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!