He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!