- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

sound of zipper

Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Damn you look good in beer goggles.

GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

will you marry me

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

Drink this!

"Hmm...you'll do."

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book