Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!