MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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You look... clean

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!