Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

You look... clean

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

why are you you touching me ????

your almost as hot as my wife

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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