Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Male: Get in the van.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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imgonna r@pe you

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!