- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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