Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Wanna have sex?

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!