Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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