- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.