Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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