boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

thumb_up thumb_down +282

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

thumb_up thumb_down +196

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +156

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

thumb_up thumb_down +210

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

thumb_up thumb_down +124

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

thumb_up thumb_down +731

Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

thumb_up thumb_down +86

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

thumb_up thumb_down +317

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

thumb_up thumb_down -997

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

thumb_up thumb_down +177

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down -10

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

thumb_up thumb_down -76

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

thumb_up thumb_down +40

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!