cockface

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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