Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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