M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!