Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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jack sanders

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!