Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Im gonna rape you..

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!