- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Welcome to DIE!

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book