-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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