Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

Are your prices by the hour

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

Five dollar women... WOO!

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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