Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!