Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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- You look really nice - I know

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You allergic to semen?

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!