Stop Footing Around

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Soon

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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sex me.

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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