Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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hey bitch

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!