Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Stop Footing Around

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Want to go out? No

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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