Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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why are you you touching me ????

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!