- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book