- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!