Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!