If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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sex me.

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Sex?

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!