- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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