Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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free candy....

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Are your prices by the hour

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!