(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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jack sanders

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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