- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

why are you you touching me ????

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!