- Anti-Pickup Line

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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