Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

thumb_up thumb_down -71

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

thumb_up thumb_down +2

(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

thumb_up thumb_down -146

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

thumb_up thumb_down -21

My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

thumb_up thumb_down -6

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

thumb_up thumb_down -179

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!