"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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