Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Drink this!

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!