Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!