If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!