Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Do you live around here often?

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!