- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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sex me.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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I think I shit myself

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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