- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

Drink this!

free candy....

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

"Don't scream"

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

I have no gag reflex.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book