Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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