Im gonna rape you..

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!