Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

thumb_up thumb_down -99

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down +71

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

thumb_up thumb_down +112

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down -75

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I hate you already.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

thumb_up thumb_down -63

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

thumb_up thumb_down +35

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down -61

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!