- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

Hey, you want a ride?

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

You look exactly like my sister.

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book