-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!