-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!