- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: Heart attack

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book