You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

fancy going halves on a bastard?

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

Still a better love story than Twilight

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

I'll eat your poop

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!