There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

whats up ho

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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