I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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"Don't scream"

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!