- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book