—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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you look like my mother

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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