- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

Male: Get in the van.

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

you look like my mother

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book