MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!