Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Penis. I got it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!