- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

you look like my mother

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"