SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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Nice legs what time do they open

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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"You'll do."

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!