If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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I've got candy.

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!