can i take a dump in your mouth?

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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I have no gag reflex.

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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whats up ho

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!