You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

thumb_up thumb_down -586

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

thumb_up thumb_down -124

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -255

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

thumb_up thumb_down -279

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

thumb_up thumb_down -89

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

thumb_up thumb_down +194

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

thumb_up thumb_down -51

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +329

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

thumb_up thumb_down -170

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1,039

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -225

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!