Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Man: Hey... wanna join me at my big mansion and have a friendly discussion? Girl: A mansion eh? Well.. sure! At the mansion: Man: MUAHAHAHAHA! I am gonna r@pe you! Girl: NO PLEASE! I am not drun.. uh not ready yet! 5 minutes later: Woman: OUCH! ouchie! That hurts! Stop it! ITS TOO HARD! Man: HAHA AND TAKE THIS GRAPE! AND THIS GRAPE! Oh... never mind this is one has turned a raisin... AND THIS GRAPE!... so uh... anyway wanna move on to the "lovers room" later? Want some more Champagne by the way? AND THIS GRAPE, AND THIS ONE IS REALLY BIG AND HARD! GET READY! Woman: Yeah sure... sigh... just get done with this weirdness already... damn these eccentric millionaires... OUCH! OOF!

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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