I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!