Happy BirthdaySean!

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!