I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

Sex?

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

What's the difference between a duck? An orange

-Get in the Van

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!