- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

What's the difference between a duck? An orange

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... silence

-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh blushing or something Because it looks like you landed on your face.

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book