I know what you guys are all thinking when you read my crazy stuff below: "That guy is crazy as fuck" My reply? Yeah I admit it, I get crazy as fuck when I and two or more ladies fuck for more than eight hours, my life is so sad. Anyway... I am chillaxing again, getting old here, not sure if I can go another round, soon I am gonna have to lie down and let the ladies do some work too... Wish me luck girls! Guys go fuck yourself its all you got. Anyway, I saw this famous book today: ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF MEN. I Lolled, someday I am gonna write ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF WOMEN TO YOUR BED... YOu might learn something girls... Where I live and stuff ;) You see I dont even lead them here anymore, they come to me! AND IN RETURN I COME IN THEM! AND THEY COME FOR ME! AND WITH EACH OTHE... ...Bitch opened the window (not my wife, our bitch) I am sweaty, the bedsheets are wet and... Rebecca is nice and all, cutest girl ever loved anal, but damn she is stupid. Sorry Harris, but you know your sistah has more curves than a racetrack... Harris if you ever read this, stop calling me SON all the time my bro from another ho. My point Harris, is that regardless of your sistah being smart maybe just pretending to be stupid, a girl with the face of an angel and the body of the goddess of sex dont need to use her brains DAD! YOU KNOW DAD! I JUST FUCKED YOUR SISTER DAD! CAN YOU HEAR HOW WRONG IT IS! YOU CANT CALL ME SON LIKE DAT!

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Drunk woman enters what she thinks is a bar... (how original). "man gets close to her" Woman: You men are all dogs! Man: Bark bark! Woman: No need to get cheeky with me asshole! Man: Bark bark... Woman proceeds to pass out and wake up at a kennel... "Mandog": Bark bark. Moral: If you think every man is a dog, then you may just be bark barking the wrong tree... or place... I mean dont expect to find nice men at a dirty bar, and dont expect to find horny jerks at your church reunion. (A moral man original... and I actually like this one!)

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Want to go out? No

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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