Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Drink this!

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!