- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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I hate you already.

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Want to go out? No

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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