- Anti-Pickup Line

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

Sex?

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

NEROMETAL`S GUIDE ON HOW YOU! YES YOUUU CAN BANG 12 CHICKS AT ONCE (well I banged eleven one wussed out) Short version (Extra "short" version below) 1. YOU? YOU? LOL YOU ARE LUCKY IF YOUR HANDS DONT GET A HEADACHE WHEN YOU GET A BONER! 2. GO to your mom and say... "mommy, do you love me?" And if she says yes dear and you dont have pants or underwear on and your dick pops up and she stares at it like... "aww, thats like the nicest tiniest thing ever..." (Sigh yeah mother are like that, I know... Not really was raised by my big sister, banged her... (much better) Solvemedia: Go berskerk... BITCH DOES IT LOOK LIKE YOU NEEDD TO TELL ME? WHY YOU RIDING MARCEL LIKE A HOE? Ps: I bet Harris to post a comment with over 50 LETTERS here, he refused, so now he owes me about 1800 dollars yeah, because it was not a bet, just because he owes me cash and admitted that that is the reason he "aproves" of me banging his sister. JOHN "MACK" HARRIS FIRST OF ALL I PREFER HAVING YOU IN CONSTANT DEBT, SECOND THE FUCK IF I NEED YOUR APROVAL HAVE YOU SEEN HOW SHE STILL CANT SITT WITHOUT LIFTING HER TIGHTS A BIT? I AM LIKE "GIRL YOUR ASSHOLE IS TOO TIGHT" SHE IS ALL LIKE "PLEASE OH PLEASE OOOH YES YES HARDER" And then my dick gets squashed again... Ouchie... But you know... HARRIS YOUR SISTERS ASS IS NOT TOO TIGHT ANYMORE! GIVE ME A THUMBS UP... Uh... How to say it political... Nevermind, I call him niggs or bro, he is pale... Yeah, white, casper. HARRIS! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND POST FIFTHY FUCKING WORDS AND YOU OWE ME NOTHING (Your sister is mine "bro" she even calls me "bro", and since I fucked my sister which raised me, im really cool with that) Or else Harris (I sent him/You harris an email) Ill want my money tomorrow at exactly 12:00 am, or else some accidents, might happen to your knees... Nah... Ill just hmm... You know I am a lawyer right? Ill sue you for everything you got... ...Yeah because a guy that constantly owes his overlord money has so much to sue away from... JUST STOP BEING A CHICKENSHIT HARRIS!

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! wiggles tail woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension and leaves. Dog: HOWL! whimpers :( throws top hat away Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!