Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!