- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

Still a better love story than Twilight

"Next!"

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

I take the the out of psychotherapist

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

Sugar-free sugar cookies

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book