man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!