Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Welcome to DIE!

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!