Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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adam burdass

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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-Get in the Van

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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