I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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haha

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Lesbihonest

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!