I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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