He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Lesbihonest

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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