- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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