I have no gag reflex.

thumb_up thumb_down +131

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

thumb_up thumb_down -76

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

thumb_up thumb_down +203

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

thumb_up thumb_down +120

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

thumb_up thumb_down -31

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

thumb_up thumb_down +11

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

thumb_up thumb_down -200

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

thumb_up thumb_down -80

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +210

-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

thumb_up thumb_down -76

As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

thumb_up thumb_down +201

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

thumb_up thumb_down +106

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!