Eat me, I'm organic!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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who wants to play EPAR

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!