- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: Heart attack

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an ahole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like st!"

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

Five dollar women... WOO!

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book