Golf.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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will you marry me

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!