Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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"Don't scream"

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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