Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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free candy....

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!