Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!