Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

thumb_up thumb_down -84

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why are you you touching me ????

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

thumb_up thumb_down +160

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

thumb_up thumb_down -42

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +179

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -140

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

thumb_up thumb_down +77

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1,172

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!