Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!