- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book