If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

thumb_up thumb_down +124

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

-Do you like me? -No

thumb_up thumb_down -24

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +361

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

thumb_up thumb_down +6

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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