Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Welcome to DIE!

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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