Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

imgonna r@pe you

Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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