Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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sssssssssssssssssssssssss sss sssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x xx sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xxsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x xxxxx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss xxxxxxx xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss xxxxx xx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ... ssss xx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. ..... ssss xxx xxxx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssss... ...... sssss x xxx xxx xsssssssssssssssssssssss .... .......... sssx x xx xsssxxssssssssssssssssss ........ ............ sssss xssssssssssssssssssssssss ........... ............. 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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


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