Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Hello children! :D

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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are you on fire?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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