Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

Nice hair, can I pull it?

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

Glass Basketball

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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