- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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