MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!