- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

I've got candy.

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p** makes a happy c*

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book