"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!