-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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I've got candy.

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!