Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

I'm desperate, you'll do.

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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