-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!