Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

whats up ho

Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Still a better love story than Twilight

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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