Still a better love story than Twilight

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!