-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!