I'll punch ya!

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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jack sanders

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!