Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

sex me.

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

Do you live around here often?

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

Stable relationships are for horses.

- You look really nice - I know

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!