How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!