Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

thumb_up thumb_down -88

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

thumb_up thumb_down +108

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

thumb_up thumb_down -163

I hate you already.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

thumb_up thumb_down -139

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

thumb_up thumb_down -197

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down -950

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +218

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

thumb_up thumb_down +339

- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -233

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +425

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +436

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!