I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

"Next!"

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

why are you you touching me ????

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

You look... clean

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

Lesbihonest

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!