Hey girl! Faggot.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Stop Footing Around

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!