Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

haha

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

Want to go out? No

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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