- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

GET IN THE VAN!!!

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book