That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!