You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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