At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

all in all it was a good orgy

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

rohypnol. rape drug

The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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