I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +96

whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +54

will you marry me

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +76

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

thumb_up thumb_down -144

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

thumb_up thumb_down +139

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

thumb_up thumb_down -44

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down +172

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!