- Anti-Pickup Line

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

i am with stupid l l l \/

ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

Have you met Ted?

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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