Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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jack sanders

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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