Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!