Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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I have no gag reflex.

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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are you on fire?

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!