Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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