- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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greetings clarisse...

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!