A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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cockface

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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