Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Lesbihonest

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!