- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!