- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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I think I shit myself

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!