- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

"Don't scream"

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

you look like my mother

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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