I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

thumb_up thumb_down +612

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down -75

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

thumb_up thumb_down -85

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

thumb_up thumb_down -27

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +154

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

thumb_up thumb_down +186

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -170

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

thumb_up thumb_down +142

So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Soon

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!