jack sanders

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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-I love you.

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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