Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

all in all it was a good orgy

Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

Sorry to take up space, but this is simply my reply to the vile threats to that person whose line starts with "what did you say little bitch", know that he has no idea what he is talking about, and is possibly a simple mental case. Seriously, who the hell are you? And even so, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah with your terrible lack of discipline there is no way in hell you are or would become a soldier. You know very well that the navy would never waste its resources on helping your selfish and childish acts of revenge (or whatever you seek) Death threats will get you nowhere, and you can fully threaten me, but know that I live in Norway, and you can trace me and send your whole unit (if you had one) but by then you would solely be responsible for acts of war and be properly executed for international treason. Know your place civilian, we fight to protect you, do not shame us with your childish vendetta. Drill Sergeant Axel "Strength" Godøy. Aka "Moral Man" Ps: Threaten anyone again, and I will fill a full report and assure that your IP is banned from this network, you are shaming your people, your country and all that fight to defend world peace, try me out and see, give me that luxury.

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

so... you're a girl,huh?

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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