Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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will you marry me

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!