Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!