Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

Are your prices by the hour

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!