Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!