Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

thumb_up thumb_down -28

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Golf.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

thumb_up thumb_down +64

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!