He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!