wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!