Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!