-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!