Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!