Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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"Don't scream"

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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I have no gag reflex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!