I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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I'll eat your poop

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!