A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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