At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!