my dick is 2 inches

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Glass Basketball

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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cockface

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!