-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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