I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!