Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +118

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I'm desperate, you'll do.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

thumb_up thumb_down -95

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

thumb_up thumb_down +87

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!