Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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