i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

GET IN THE VAN!!!

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!