Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!