- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book