Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!