If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!