I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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"You'll do."

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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I'll punch ya!

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!