Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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