After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Soon

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!