-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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sound of zipper

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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You allergic to semen?

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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"Don't scream"

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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