Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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