Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Walking to your car alone later?

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Sex?

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!