hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

GET IN THE VAN!!!

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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