You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

Nice hair, can I pull it?

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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You look... clean

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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