you actually look alright with the lights on.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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You look... clean

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!