- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Girl walks into restaurant - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

Boy : Gurle: hi

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

Male: Get in the van.

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Five dollar women... WOO!

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....