You look... clean

thumb_up thumb_down +138

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

thumb_up thumb_down -3

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

thumb_up thumb_down +60

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

thumb_up thumb_down -1

i am with stupid l l l \/

thumb_up thumb_down +215

Boy : Gurle: hi

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +117

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

thumb_up thumb_down +60

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

thumb_up thumb_down -4

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

thumb_up thumb_down -74

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -40

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!