Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

Sex?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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