-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Stop Footing Around

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!