- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

adam burdass

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*