-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Hey can I have your number? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +887

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

thumb_up thumb_down -96

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

i am with stupid l l l \/

thumb_up thumb_down +200

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

thumb_up thumb_down -155

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

thumb_up thumb_down +52

fancy going halves on a bastard?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

thumb_up thumb_down +955

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +327

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

thumb_up thumb_down +554

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

thumb_up thumb_down

Nice legs what time do they open

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!