-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!