- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p** makes a happy c*

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book