Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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you look like my mother

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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