I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

"Hmm...you'll do."

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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