Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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"You'll do."

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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You look... clean

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!