Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!