Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

You smell just like my mom...

Hey whigs just thinking, you think these will get approved as "anti-pickuplines?" XD Anyway, relax dog, the car is yours, and yes its a custom engine I trimmed myself, never drove it but its like a fucking hummingbird, just be careful dawg, it drives far faster than the damn spedometer or whatever its called says, so if it says 30 whatevers, you are driving at double (ill fix that for you, was gonna do it anyways but I am at work now) Man, I increased productivity with 33 percent with my speeches and campaigns, if that bonus isnt legal then im quitting AFTER I DECREASE productivity with 120... By quitting... basically. Get a cab dude, dont turn into some spoiled asskissing piece of shit that hangs around for the money (not more than you already do, jk bro) and ill throw in the fucking bill for the cabfare, but you know the trust system whiggs, receipts always. Oh, and yeah anyone asks, you leased it, and just for the Nero says comment, I was watching that shit How I raped your mother with my wife, and I get to give you five slaps! At random times, as hard as I can.. ...You know I got small hands, and your sister knows that small hands just means the paperwork kind, while big other stuff, means fucked since I was nice. Yeah its at the summer vista whatever, playboy mansion my ass... Its actually a bit larger (a lot less uh the area around tho, listen man, im done doing my... well girls, so im gonna get some sleep soon, so if you got more to say, make it fast... Moral: You know I have always been EVERYONES GOD MINION, DARK FALLEN GOD OF CHAOS AND... Sex, money, yeah... REMEMBER: Push the pedal on that Fiat of yours, and you will end up wrecking the car on the paper thin walls on my garage, so watch the speed limit, if you end up killng yourself, Ill never forgive myse... Wait... ILL NEVER FORGIVE YOUR MOTHER AND BANG HER... Because... Ahh... You know, girls wont get off me, now hurry the hell up and just say you are coming over or not, because I need an excuse to get... Wait for it... Wait for it... NOT YOUR SISTER OF ME! But hey, im honest to your sister, this man gots love for all the girls in his life, or he dont deserve them. Answer asap, or im wrecking the car, seriously, answer quick and its yours... On the phone is fine.

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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