- Anti-Pickup Line

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

Macho Man: Release the BOGUS! Woman: What? Super Macho Man: Never mind... no one will get this anyways... wanna go to McDonalds and get a Little Mac? Woman: Ok but I want a Big mac! Macho Man: What is a Big mac? Is it stronger than a little Mac? Woman: Huh? What do you mean? Macho Man: Sigh... and I actually fought Mike Tyson you know... Woman: So you are a boxer huh? Who are you gonna fight next? Macho Man: Sigh... Mr.Dream... Woman: Who the hell is that? Macho Man: a nobody...

Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: sparkly eyes So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... steps to whisper in her ear ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

i want a blowjob bitch lifts her hijab

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

Hey wanna smash pissers?

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!