You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!