- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

GET IN THE VAN!!!

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

"Next!"

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

-I love you.

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book