Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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I have no gag reflex.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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