- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S , OFF!"

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

You allergic to semen?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book