- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book