Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

thumb_up thumb_down -72

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

thumb_up thumb_down -63

hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

thumb_up thumb_down +260

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -50

why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +150

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +165

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

thumb_up thumb_down +577

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

thumb_up thumb_down -159

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

thumb_up thumb_down +187

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +374

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +148

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -233

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!