- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? looks down pants Meh!

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

my dick is 2 inches

I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

I think I shit myself

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book