- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!