My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!