- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book