-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!