Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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I have no gag reflex.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!