hey Herpes Go Away!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

thumb_up thumb_down -36

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

thumb_up thumb_down -580

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down -257

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

thumb_up thumb_down -283

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +903

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

thumb_up thumb_down +193

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -93

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

thumb_up thumb_down +8

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +141

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

thumb_up thumb_down -52

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!