Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!