-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!