Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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I hate you already.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!