Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

You look... clean

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

Hey wanna smash pissers?

For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

GET IN THE VAN!!!

Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

are you on fire?

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!