Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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sound of zipper

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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