Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!