Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

you actually look alright with the lights on.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!