-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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You allergic to semen?

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Gaywatch starts

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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cockface

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!