Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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