Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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my dick is 2 inches

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Nice legs what time do they open

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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free candy....

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!