- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book