- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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free candy....

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!