The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!