Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

hey bitch

Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

adam burdass

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

Man: Hello! Mishimush! This is a Mister Borat eh? I would like to make the sexy time with you now woman... Eh can I make the rape on you? I will not make much crushings on you if you do not bite okay? Girl: WOW! SURE! Man: Sigh... I... (takes of wig and mustachio) I am actually Sasha Baron Cohen and this is just a hidden camera scene for my movie an.. Girl: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU YOU UGLY BASTARD! GET LOST! Man: DAMN! But its me the same guy and I think I just fell in love with you an... Girl: GET OUT YOU PERVERT! 10 minutes later: Man: Hello there oh honey, this is da berlinen wassenflass Bhruno and I would like you to help me make me the hetrosexal man for das werbungen of my movie star eh? Girl: .( Sigh... I miss that Borat guy... Man: But its me! I am Both Borat and Bruno and... Girl: YOU AGAIN?! GET LOST ASSHOLE! Man: Damn... something just went very very wrong here did it not? Borat: Hello the mister Baron eh? Mishimush! I am the making movie of Crushings of America! And this is my very Manly Man Bruno! Bruno: Hello hot stuff! Cohens! Me and Borat would like to make the very manly thing with you in a threycantzen of tree peepols! Borat: EH YES! We make bang bang in the anoos together with man man and man so no gays make us they slaves! Director: Is something wrong Mr.Cohen? Man: Uh... I think I need to see a shrink for a while after this experience...

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

free candy....

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

Eat me, I'm organic!

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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