-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

haha

*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

Eat me, I'm organic!

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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