If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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I have a gun.

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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