- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Golf.

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!