Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

thumb_up thumb_down -54

As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +144

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +122

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down +52

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

thumb_up thumb_down +62

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

thumb_up thumb_down +142

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down -14

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

thumb_up thumb_down +145

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

thumb_up thumb_down +261

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +144

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

thumb_up thumb_down +299

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

thumb_up thumb_down -16

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

thumb_up thumb_down -62

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!