Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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At a drinking place :P: Man: You dare mock the great Sh... Woman: I am sorry I did not mean to humiliate that much... ehehehehe you are just a stupid jlttle nerd and all... :) Man: You will die moral... Woman: What?! Uh... did I mention how awesome you are? What was your name again? Man: You weak pathetic fool! 8 hours later: Woman: Please! Let me stay! Just for a little longer! Barman: Sigh... fine have a drink on the house. Woman: *sips drink and dies* Barman: Mission complete sir, she died instantly! Man: Instantly without pain? THAT WAS PATHETIC! Now... SUICIDE! Barman: No I refuse! Man: Drink it... or face the true WRATH OF SHAO KAHN! Barman: The true wrath? ANYTHING BUT THAT!*Punches himself in the balls hoping he dies from the pain, passes out and tries again* Man Is That your best? That was pathetic! Its official, you suck! Bhahahahahahaha! Moral: Fear the Wrath of Shao Kahn!

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Penis. I got it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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