Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!