-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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"Don't scream"

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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whats up ho

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!