- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an ahole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like st!"

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

Nice hair, can I pull it?

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book