#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

Hey wanna smash pissers?

haha

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!