How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Man: Hey... wanna join me at my big mansion and have a friendly discussion? Girl: A mansion eh? Well.. sure! At the mansion: Man: MUAHAHAHAHA! I am gonna r@pe you! Girl: NO PLEASE! I am not drun.. uh not ready yet! 5 minutes later: Woman: OUCH! ouchie! That hurts! Stop it! ITS TOO HARD! Man: HAHA AND TAKE THIS GRAPE! AND THIS GRAPE! Oh... never mind this is one has turned a raisin... AND THIS GRAPE!... so uh... anyway wanna move on to the "lovers room" later? Want some more Champagne by the way? AND THIS GRAPE, AND THIS ONE IS REALLY BIG AND HARD! GET READY! Woman: Yeah sure... sigh... just get done with this weirdness already... damn these eccentric millionaires... OUCH! OOF!

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!