- Anti-Pickup Line

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

nice kid... want another?

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

Do you have Groupon? wait for response Because you look fucking cheap

The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

hey baby i just came in my pants

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

Stable relationships are for horses.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

adam burdass

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

You allergic to semen?

fancy going halves on a bastard?

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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