my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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