I've got candy.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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