On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -175

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

thumb_up thumb_down +196

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

This doesn't have to be a rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

thumb_up thumb_down -85

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

thumb_up thumb_down -52

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

thumb_up thumb_down +68

He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

thumb_up thumb_down -51

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +58

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!