If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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nice kid... want another?

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!