"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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will you marry me

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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imgonna r@pe you

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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