MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!