your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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