- Anti-Pickup Line

Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!