- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Are your prices by the hour

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!