Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Yo imma let you finish yourself off

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

Are your prices by the hour

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

I think I shit myself

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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