So, you're a girl, huh?

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!