Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!