- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book