Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

jack sanders

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

Put the lotion on the skin!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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