-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Sigh, reminds me I am banging a girl named Tina, and one named Line right? Plus my wife whose name I wont reveal because she matters (Line, Tina, you do not!) Anyway, when people ask me "what the hell was that noise Nero (No idea what Neronism is, fuck him for stealing my name) I tell them "meh I was just screwing Line and Tina" People always go like... Man... YOU DONT HAVE TO LIE TO ME SON! YOU GOT STREET CRED HERE MODAFOCA! Tina and Line? You cant come up with better names SON? EH? If you wanna lie to me again SON, Then you get some original names SON! And I go like... So, can your sister sit down now? And he goes all like SHEET, was that you? Nice score man! And then I went "thats your sister you know that right?" Anyway, you want me now? INSTA ANTI PICKUPLINE... BECAUSE WHO NEEDS PICKUPLINES AT ALL! I AM JUST BEING MEEEEEEEEEEE! AND YOU MIGHT HATE ME!!!!!!! BUT YOU WOMEN STILL END UP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU HATE THAT GUY YOU FUCKED LAST NIGHT! AND YOUR GIRLFRIENDS! Man... I need another Smoke... SMOKE WINS FAILTALITY. Ps: Yo Harris, stop congratzing me for banging your sister, she is not a nice catch for youz! She is your sistah DUDE! STOP GIVING ME THE THUMBS UPS EVERYTIME SHE COMPLAINS HER ASS IS STILL SORE... I mean does he get it? Or does youz congrats me because you dont understand that Rebecca your "innocent" sister is really into anal something I usually just reserve for the... actually good girls...

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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