You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Welcome to DIE!

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!