Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -150

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

thumb_up thumb_down -63

you actually look alright with the lights on.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

thumb_up thumb_down +98

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

thumb_up thumb_down -8

- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

thumb_up thumb_down -104

-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down +159

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

thumb_up thumb_down -79

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

thumb_up thumb_down +220

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

So when' the baby due?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

thumb_up thumb_down -168

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!