You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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Get in the van.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Sex?

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!