Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Macho Man: Release the BOGUS! Woman: What? Super Macho Man: Never mind... no one will get this anyways... wanna go to McDonalds and get a Little Mac? Woman: Ok but I want a Big mac! Macho Man: What is a Big mac? Is it stronger than a little Mac? Woman: Huh? What do you mean? Macho Man: Sigh... and I actually fought Mike Tyson you know... Woman: So you are a boxer huh? Who are you gonna fight next? Macho Man: Sigh... Mr.Dream... Woman: Who the hell is that? Macho Man: a nobody...

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!