Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

thumb_up thumb_down

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

thumb_up thumb_down -27

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

I take the the out of psychotherapist

thumb_up thumb_down -5

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

thumb_up thumb_down -139

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

thumb_up thumb_down +141

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

thumb_up thumb_down +138

Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -134

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!