- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

- Hey, baby, what's your sign? - Do not Enter

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book