- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

Hey, you want a ride?

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

Eat me, I'm organic!

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

I think I shit myself

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book