-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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Hello children! :D

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!