Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!