- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Your skin would make a nice coat.

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book