Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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This is what Nero calls for his "destroyer" not sure if I should consider that flattering, he thinks so anyways, he just wants to say, that why the fuck are people suddenly scared of looooooooooooooooooooooong messages on the interbewbs. "No leave it be, interbewsbs sounds prefect" Nero The Hero "FINAL FRESH" What Nero And Vagina shouts? :)) Something is off here but he has passed out again :)) "God woman, you suck at pop cultural quotes" Nero, the fucklord (omg, he is crazy, gotta love this guy) "thanks" Nero the grateful. "I Ask you if you know who I am by saying "ITS ME MARIO and you still do not know what name is? THe red plumber Nintendo HIS NAME IS MARIO!?" Nero The (fucking annoyed at me) :)) Sorry guys just having fun. "THOU SHALL NEVER APOLOGIzE FOR THE WORD OF NERO" -Nero insists, I mean the LORD OF DARKNESS INSISTS "Can we fucking stop making quotes of me now? All the girls are laughing at me, WHY AM I SO DEFEATED!" Last quote added without his consent

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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