- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Male: Get in the van.

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!