Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

Drink this!

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

GET IN THE VAN!!!

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!