will you marry me

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

thumb_up thumb_down +1

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

thumb_up thumb_down -73

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

thumb_up thumb_down -115

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

thumb_up thumb_down +148

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

thumb_up thumb_down +62

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

thumb_up thumb_down +64

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

"Don't scream"

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

thumb_up thumb_down +316

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down +24

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!