(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

thumb_up thumb_down +159

Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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I AM LOVE! I AM LOVE! Moral: Seriously, I have never been QUUUUUITE this happy, shouting I am love is probably not the best move, thanks for your thumbs ups, thumbs downs, and while my work is done here, that does not mean Ill leave, I need to keep my reputation as the fourth, smoothest, aka pointless invention in the world, and unless you want to count that girl Justina Bitcherina, that means that I am the smoothest man alive, THANK YOU THANK YOU! And feel free to vote this down if you cant handle being thanked by the smoothest most awesome man alive. Hey, I get it, we cant all be me ;)

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!