Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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I'll punch ya!

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!