- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!