- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Jdkfk

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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