Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Penis. I got it

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!