She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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