your boobs are bigger than my nose

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!