At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

who wants to play EPAR

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

Give me some sugar... honey.

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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