Wanna have sex?

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Want to go out? No

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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why are you you touching me ????

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!