Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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I hate you already.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Sex?

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You smell just like my mom...

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!