- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... silence

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book