Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!