—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

Twinkle winkle little star, cuz my star is what you are... Moral: Heh, that one might actually work if you do it spontaneously and mean it, damn I keep failing at making bad pickuplines, I am so good I cannot fail! I WANT TO FAIL! (Legal disclaimer: Not really I just go hi-wire after... "flirting" yeaaaaaaah lets be subtle now "Moral" Man)

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

sound of zipper

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

Golgo12, sorry not here, If antijoke is down we will just have to chat another time, but you know for this piece of shit site`s rank as the worlds most useless man, its not the first time I achieve the impossible, or as I say "those claiming that somethings are impossible, should stay out of the way of those making it happen" Anyway, yeah point zero is my "world" and you can come see how you like it for yourself, so far its been working perfectly for 4 months, and while I am officially a cripple (for the meantime, a bit of lots of pain has never slowed me down for long, you get used to it) Ill keep talking long after I am dead apparently, as shutting up is a major factor with these painkillers. See ya.

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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