Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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"You'll do."

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!