-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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GET IN THE VAN!!!

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Get in the van.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!