boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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are you on fire?

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"Next!"

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!