"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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sound of zipper

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!