Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Your body would look good in my trunk.

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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