- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!