Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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are you on fire?

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Penis. I got it

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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sex me.

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!