- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Guy: What're you doing Friday night? Girl: Not you.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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