- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book