Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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