Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

Eat me, I'm organic!

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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