Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!