Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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