Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!