- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!