He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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EVERYONE ELSE

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!