I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

Wanna have sex?

Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

This is what Nero calls for his "destroyer" not sure if I should consider that flattering, he thinks so anyways, he just wants to say, that why the fuck are people suddenly scared of looooooooooooooooooooooong messages on the interbewbs. "No leave it be, interbewsbs sounds prefect" Nero The Hero "FINAL FRESH" What Nero And Vagina shouts? :)) Something is off here but he has passed out again :)) "God woman, you suck at pop cultural quotes" Nero, the fucklord (omg, he is crazy, gotta love this guy) "thanks" Nero the grateful. "I Ask you if you know who I am by saying "ITS ME MARIO and you still do not know what name is? THe red plumber Nintendo HIS NAME IS MARIO!?" Nero The (fucking annoyed at me) :)) Sorry guys just having fun. "THOU SHALL NEVER APOLOGIzE FOR THE WORD OF NERO" -Nero insists, I mean the LORD OF DARKNESS INSISTS "Can we fucking stop making quotes of me now? All the girls are laughing at me, WHY AM I SO DEFEATED!" Last quote added without his consent

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

Sex?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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