Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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I AM LOVE! I AM LOVE! Moral: Seriously, I have never been QUUUUUITE this happy, shouting I am love is probably not the best move, thanks for your thumbs ups, thumbs downs, and while my work is done here, that does not mean Ill leave, I need to keep my reputation as the fourth, smoothest, aka pointless invention in the world, and unless you want to count that girl Justina Bitcherina, that means that I am the smoothest man alive, THANK YOU THANK YOU! And feel free to vote this down if you cant handle being thanked by the smoothest most awesome man alive. Hey, I get it, we cant all be me ;)

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!