Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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