Drink this!

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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"Don't scream"

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!