- Anti-Pickup Line

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go gives phone girl - silence after awkward phone call boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - silence boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy boy manages to get out of the bar boy installs bomb in center of bar boy leaves bar everyone attempts to get out of bar boy locks the door boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- explosion everyone dies MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

Sorry to take up space, but this is simply my reply to the vile threats to that person whose line starts with "what did you say little bitch", know that he has no idea what he is talking about, and is possibly a simple mental case. Seriously, who the hell are you? And even so, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah with your terrible lack of discipline there is no way in hell you are or would become a soldier. You know very well that the navy would never waste its resources on helping your selfish and childish acts of revenge (or whatever you seek) Death threats will get you nowhere, and you can fully threaten me, but know that I live in Norway, and you can trace me and send your whole unit (if you had one) but by then you would solely be responsible for acts of war and be properly executed for international treason. Know your place civilian, we fight to protect you, do not shame us with your childish vendetta. Drill Sergeant Axel "Strength" Godøy. Aka "Moral Man" Ps: Threaten anyone again, and I will fill a full report and assure that your IP is banned from this network, you are shaming your people, your country and all that fight to defend world peace, try me out and see, give me that luxury.

jack sanders

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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