- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

rohypnol. rape drug

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Golf.

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book