Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!