Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Im gonna rape you..

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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your almost as hot as my wife

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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