-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!