Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

you look like my mother

Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

"Next!"

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

Lol man, you know this man would never sue your ass, but... Man it takes a message here to see that you are like a super whigger. Anyway DAD! Thanks for the kind words, and seriously, you dont kiss ass on regular basis just one thing, you can reply wherever, text is cool You got the hots for your sister dude? I mean the deal was 50 uh words? Letters? Anyway its good, but DAD!... You know I never asked you to write anything about your sisters ass, its kinda weird DAD! Anyway, what do I judge, I banged my 7 years old sister back at the days where I still called her mom... Well she trained me, then I returned with the force, and now her husband kinda knows my deal and... I STILL BANG HER! <<<<< Anyway, man, keep the cash, I just wanted to show the world... Moral: Ladies and gentlemen, and this is how you make someone and anyone your bitch! Nothing personal DAD! You know that as far as I care, all my friends kneel before while my enemies are crushed under my mighty heel. Charisma... Kiddo, I know you are struggling with cash and stuff, but seriously, just for that one online, (your sisters story which id never ask you to go for helps) BUT If you have read this far (BECAUSE THE WORDS OF YOUR DARK OVERLORD ARE LAW) Then just send me a reply saying 666 and I will pay to fix whatever the hell is wrong with your car man, I cant stand the sound, and I know you can pay up, its just that times are down... ...For you. Actual code 999 (not satanist here, I hate all religion) post 666 and ill get someone to slice your tires instead.

Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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