Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!