ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!