"Don't scream"

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Drink this!

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!