M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

Stop Footing Around

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

"You'll do."

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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