He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Want to go out? No

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!