Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!