- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S , OFF!"

Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book