Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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"Don't scream"

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!