girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Stop Footing Around

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!