-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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your almost as hot as my wife

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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rohypnol. rape drug

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!