He says "Where have you been all my life" She says "Hiding from you....how the hell did you find me?"

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!