Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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