Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Soon

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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I know what you guys are all thinking when you read my crazy stuff below: "That guy is crazy as fuck" My reply? Yeah I admit it, I get crazy as fuck when I and two or more ladies fuck for more than eight hours, my life is so sad. Anyway... I am chillaxing again, getting old here, not sure if I can go another round, soon I am gonna have to lie down and let the ladies do some work too... Wish me luck girls! Guys go fuck yourself its all you got. Anyway, I saw this famous book today: ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF MEN. I Lolled, someday I am gonna write ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF WOMEN TO YOUR BED... YOu might learn something girls... Where I live and stuff ;) You see I dont even lead them here anymore, they come to me! AND IN RETURN I COME IN THEM! AND THEY COME FOR ME! AND WITH EACH OTHE... ...Bitch opened the window (not my wife, our bitch) I am sweaty, the bedsheets are wet and... Rebecca is nice and all, cutest girl ever loved anal, but damn she is stupid. Sorry Harris, but you know your sistah has more curves than a racetrack... Harris if you ever read this, stop calling me SON all the time my bro from another ho. My point Harris, is that regardless of your sistah being smart maybe just pretending to be stupid, a girl with the face of an angel and the body of the goddess of sex dont need to use her brains DAD! YOU KNOW DAD! I JUST FUCKED YOUR SISTER DAD! CAN YOU HEAR HOW WRONG IT IS! YOU CANT CALL ME SON LIKE DAT!

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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I've got candy.

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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