B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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Soon

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!