-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!