Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!