Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Glass Basketball

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!