-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!