GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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sound of zipper

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!