I wish my sister was as hot as you.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +116

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

thumb_up thumb_down -65

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

thumb_up thumb_down -46

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

thumb_up thumb_down +579

Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

thumb_up thumb_down +36

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

thumb_up thumb_down +143

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -151

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

thumb_up thumb_down +157

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -79

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -78

whats up ho

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!