As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

This doesn't have to be a rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

thumb_up thumb_down -55

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

thumb_up thumb_down -45

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

thumb_up thumb_down -163

Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +166

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

thumb_up thumb_down +71

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -166

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!