This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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