Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!