- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

Soon

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

you actually look alright with the lights on.

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book