Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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