Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Soon

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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I hate you already.

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!