4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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