Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

Five dollar women... WOO!

why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

Stop Footing Around

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

"You'll do."

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

Male: Get in the van.

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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