Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!