Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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Male: Get in the van.

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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Have you met Ted?

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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