-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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You smell just like my mom...

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Walking to your car alone later?

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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free candy....

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Hello children! :D

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!