At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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cockface

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!