Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

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you look like my mother

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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You smell just like my mom...

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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You allergic to semen?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!