Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Penis. I got it

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!