girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

thumb_up thumb_down -34

- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

thumb_up thumb_down +7

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

thumb_up thumb_down +188

Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

thumb_up thumb_down +133

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

thumb_up thumb_down -32

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +163

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +313

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

thumb_up thumb_down +230

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

thumb_up thumb_down +157

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!