your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!