GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

thumb_up thumb_down +51

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

thumb_up thumb_down +54

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

thumb_up thumb_down +38

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

thumb_up thumb_down +170

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

thumb_up thumb_down -14

- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

thumb_up thumb_down +3

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

thumb_up thumb_down +52

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

thumb_up thumb_down +45

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!