Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!