what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!