- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

Put the lotion on the skin!

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

Give me some sugar... honey.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book