-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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- You look really nice - I know

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Man: Hey... wanna join me at my big mansion and have a friendly discussion? Girl: A mansion eh? Well.. sure! At the mansion: Man: MUAHAHAHAHA! I am gonna r@pe you! Girl: NO PLEASE! I am not drun.. uh not ready yet! 5 minutes later: Woman: OUCH! ouchie! That hurts! Stop it! ITS TOO HARD! Man: HAHA AND TAKE THIS GRAPE! AND THIS GRAPE! Oh... never mind this is one has turned a raisin... AND THIS GRAPE!... so uh... anyway wanna move on to the "lovers room" later? Want some more Champagne by the way? AND THIS GRAPE, AND THIS ONE IS REALLY BIG AND HARD! GET READY! Woman: Yeah sure... sigh... just get done with this weirdness already... damn these eccentric millionaires... OUCH! OOF!

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!