In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

thumb_up thumb_down -82

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

thumb_up thumb_down -141

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

thumb_up thumb_down -54

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +37

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

thumb_up thumb_down -19

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!