At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

thumb_up thumb_down +151

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Gaywatch starts

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Jdkfk

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!