Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!