Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Soon

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Stop Footing Around

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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free candy....

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!