Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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So when' the baby due?

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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