"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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- I want to give myself to you. - Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!