- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Girl walks into restaurant - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....