Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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hey bitch

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Drink this!

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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