Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

whats up ho

On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!