- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

I take the the out of psychotherapist

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book