my dick is 2 inches

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!