Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

Hello children! :D

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

How much do you like peanut butter?

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

I have no gag reflex.

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!