Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Want to go out? No

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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I think I shit myself

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!