Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

Do you live around here often?

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!