Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +86

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Lesbihonest

thumb_up thumb_down -112

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

thumb_up thumb_down +61

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

thumb_up thumb_down +131

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -231

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

thumb_up thumb_down -86

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Your skin would make a nice coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +258

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

thumb_up thumb_down -56

The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!