Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Are your prices by the hour

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!