At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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Soon

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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