How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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"Don't scream"

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!