- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!