- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I may have never fcked a 10 before, but I did fck five 2's.

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.