male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

thumb_up thumb_down -90

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

thumb_up thumb_down -37

your almost as hot as my wife

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -34

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

thumb_up thumb_down +46

"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

thumb_up thumb_down +164

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

thumb_up thumb_down +65

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I have no gag reflex.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

thumb_up thumb_down -39

I've got candy.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!