Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

Are you from Wales, because...well...

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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