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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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