Sugar-free sugar cookies

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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-hey, come here a minute.

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Sex?

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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my dick is 2 inches

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sound of zipper

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!