At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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"You'll do."

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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are you on fire?

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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