I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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greetings clarisse...

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Sigh, reminds me I am banging a girl named Tina, and one named Line right? Plus my wife whose name I wont reveal because she matters (Line, Tina, you do not!) Anyway, when people ask me "what the hell was that noise Nero (No idea what Neronism is, fuck him for stealing my name) I tell them "meh I was just screwing Line and Tina" People always go like... Man... YOU DONT HAVE TO LIE TO ME SON! YOU GOT STREET CRED HERE MODAFOCA! Tina and Line? You cant come up with better names SON? EH? If you wanna lie to me again SON, Then you get some original names SON! And I go like... So, can your sister sit down now? And he goes all like SHEET, was that you? Nice score man! And then I went "thats your sister you know that right?" Anyway, you want me now? INSTA ANTI PICKUPLINE... BECAUSE WHO NEEDS PICKUPLINES AT ALL! I AM JUST BEING MEEEEEEEEEEE! AND YOU MIGHT HATE ME!!!!!!! BUT YOU WOMEN STILL END UP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU HATE THAT GUY YOU FUCKED LAST NIGHT! AND YOUR GIRLFRIENDS! Man... I need another Smoke... SMOKE WINS FAILTALITY. Ps: Yo Harris, stop congratzing me for banging your sister, she is not a nice catch for youz! She is your sistah DUDE! STOP GIVING ME THE THUMBS UPS EVERYTIME SHE COMPLAINS HER ASS IS STILL SORE... I mean does he get it? Or does youz congrats me because you dont understand that Rebecca your "innocent" sister is really into anal something I usually just reserve for the... actually good girls...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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