- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

rohypnol. rape drug

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Stop Footing Around

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book