- Anti-Pickup Line

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ The man gets insulted and leaves Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one sticks up middle finger

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

sound of zipper

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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