Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

thumb_up thumb_down -149

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

thumb_up thumb_down -67

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

thumb_up thumb_down +158

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

thumb_up thumb_down -56

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

thumb_up thumb_down +120

-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I have a really big..... Bank Account

thumb_up thumb_down +124

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

thumb_up thumb_down +49

cockface

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!