I hate you already.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +60

HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

thumb_up thumb_down -58

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

thumb_up thumb_down -53

do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Welcome to DIE!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

you look like my mother

thumb_up thumb_down +81

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -136

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

thumb_up thumb_down -89

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

thumb_up thumb_down +170

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +100

hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

hey Herpes Go Away!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!