- Anti-Pickup Line

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

Nice legs what time do they open

Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one sticks up middle finger

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

Glass Basketball

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it unzips his pants and pulls out his nub girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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