-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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"OMG A SAMSUNG!" Lol, thats cool man, as for the car, the engine is shiny and flawless, (you know for a fiat) and I have not used it since I you know "bought it" as in won it from my ex while playing poker? Id give it back to her if she was not such a bitch. Honestly dude, its a fiat, and that piece of shit you call a car, I mean man, we have been towed from the free way like six times already? XD And that is just the few times I want to sit in that piece of shit XD I mean the seats pop off and there is "custom space to transport marijuana there man XD" I seriously hope you bought it that way, because stoners aint my friends. Seriously dude, the Fiat (aka "car") is yours, you know that you are bankrupt because you keep trying to fix that piece of shit on wheels of yours XD, and hey, surprise kiddo, I renewed the engine, so its new and shiny, and free, and fuck if not only the engine itself is worth ten more times than... A billion of those pieces of shit you drive XD No seriously, you know me, Im The Hannibal, I am the beast but I like it classy, and its pretty embarrassing sitting on that piece of shit you call for a car. I know we are from different worlds pal, but take it, just gave myself a bonus at work (legal of course) but I got to say it... "A SAMSUNG OMG" XD And yeah, I know you been eyeballing that "car" aka Fiat, its yours whenever you want it, just tell people I am leasing it to you (I mean it I really do, thats my only condition) Moral: "I DRIVE PIECES OF SHIT FOR BREAKFAST!" PROTIP FOR GETTING ANYWHERE IN YOUR CAR: Put it The opposite way, and have the towing car tow you TOWARDS the place you want to get to XD (hey, how many times you been towed JUST from the freeway? I mean I hate hunting, but do you really use that shit in the Forrest too? Answer here, be real, and come get your car.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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