-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!