Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -97

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +184

Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

thumb_up thumb_down +82

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

thumb_up thumb_down -93

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

thumb_up thumb_down +95

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

thumb_up thumb_down -113

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

thumb_up thumb_down -77

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -35

For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

thumb_up thumb_down -138

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!