Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!