- Anti-Pickup Line

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

For you that think your family are too overprotective when it comes to sex, this was my story as a teenager. Mom: Hi guys! Me and ladyfriend: Hi mom! This is my ladyfriend: (insert your name if you are female) Dad: Woho! Good catch son! claps me on shoulder Mom: Dont worry, you guys just go right up and "study" eh ;) eh ;) and we are gonna put the music REALLY LOUD down here! And there is no need to be ashamed of stains nor anything. Dad: No we understand ;) ;) ;) Girl: Uh... you invited me just to study right? Me: Believe it or not I did... Dad: Yeah you two young ones go study! Remember condom though! ;) Girl: Axel! WTF?! leaves Me: Mom.. Dad! WTF!? I dont know anything about algebra (not even to this day, and I am almost 30) Dad: Algebra eh? ;) Next time give her a good "algebra". Me: Mom tell that moron tha... Mom: Relax son, I understand that you boys have desires and the next time you take her with you, you dont need to be ashamed or come up with excuse.. Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Moral: To believe I learned most my ways by having ladyfriends... despite my parents... Mom and Dad overprotective? Good... trust me!

Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

You look... clean

i want a blowjob bitch lifts her hijab

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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