what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Stop Footing Around

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!