Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!