Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Welcome to DIE!

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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