Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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I hate you already.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!