guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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cockface

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Male: Get in the van.

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!