-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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-I love you.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!