- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! Throws couch at woman WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: dead Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

I take the the out of psychotherapist

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book