*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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- You look really nice - I know

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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haha

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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