Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

Stable relationships are for horses.

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

So when' the baby due?

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

"You'll do."

Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

are you on fire?

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!