Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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I have a gun.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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adam burdass

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!