Jdkfk

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!