"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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sex me.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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