Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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