Hey, do you want to dance? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

thumb_up thumb_down -35

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +306

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

thumb_up thumb_down -120

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

thumb_up thumb_down +184

adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

free candy....

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

thumb_up thumb_down -25

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +370

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

thumb_up thumb_down +709

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

thumb_up thumb_down +185

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

thumb_up thumb_down -123

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!