Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

thumb_up thumb_down -62

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

thumb_up thumb_down +193

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

thumb_up thumb_down +191

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

thumb_up thumb_down +139

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

thumb_up thumb_down -90

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

thumb_up thumb_down +195

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

thumb_up thumb_down -11

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Jdkfk

thumb_up thumb_down +145

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

thumb_up thumb_down -68

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!