"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Lesbihonest

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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I've got candy.

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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free candy....

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!