Does it smell in here or it just you?

thumb_up thumb_down -121

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down -193

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

thumb_up thumb_down +221

Lesbihonest

thumb_up thumb_down -116

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

thumb_up thumb_down -86

I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

thumb_up thumb_down +69

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

thumb_up thumb_down -71

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +306

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

thumb_up thumb_down -38

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

thumb_up thumb_down +273

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

thumb_up thumb_down -40

I'll eat your poop

thumb_up thumb_down +8

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

thumb_up thumb_down +701

-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Jdkfk

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

thumb_up thumb_down -192

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!