- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! Woman slams man with baseball bat Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... yawn Zzzzzzzmooth...

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!