- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-hey, come here a minute.

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book