- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book