- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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