Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

thumb_up thumb_down -57

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -107

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Stable relationships are for horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Are your prices by the hour

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!