If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down +170

Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

thumb_up thumb_down -30

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -33

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I have no gag reflex.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

thumb_up thumb_down +114

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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