- Anti-Pickup Line

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!