My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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