-I love you.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!