Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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