hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Welcome to DIE!

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!