M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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I have no gag reflex.

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"Don't scream"

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!