-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!