Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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.............. ............. ............. ............ ............. ............ ............ ............ ........... ............ ........... ............ ......... ............ ......... ............ ......... ........... ......... ...........

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Drink this!

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

adam burdass

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!