Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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I hate you already.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Business Y U No Advertise?

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Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

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-I love you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!