Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

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Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Are your prices by the hour

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Male: Get in the van.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!