- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

"Don't scream"

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book