- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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-I love you.

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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I've got candy.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!