-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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Penis. I got it

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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I have no gag reflex.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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You look... clean

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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imgonna r@pe you

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!