MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Macho Man: Release the BOGUS! Woman: What? Super Macho Man: Never mind... no one will get this anyways... wanna go to McDonalds and get a Little Mac? Woman: Ok but I want a Big mac! Macho Man: What is a Big mac? Is it stronger than a little Mac? Woman: Huh? What do you mean? Macho Man: Sigh... and I actually fought Mike Tyson you know... Woman: So you are a boxer huh? Who are you gonna fight next? Macho Man: Sigh... Mr.Dream... Woman: Who the hell is that? Macho Man: a nobody...

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!