Does it smell in here or it just you?

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!