Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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Soon

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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imgonna r@pe you

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!