- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

Anti-Pickup Line

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