Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

thumb_up thumb_down -43

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

thumb_up thumb_down -79

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +88

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I have a really big..... Bank Account

thumb_up thumb_down +111

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

thumb_up thumb_down +196

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

thumb_up thumb_down +62

I have no gag reflex.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

You look... clean

thumb_up thumb_down +82

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +260

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

thumb_up thumb_down -76

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down +159

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

imgonna r@pe you

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!