Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Jdkfk

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Soon

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!