G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!