Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

"Don't scream"

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!