-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Do you want to see something swell?

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!