Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Me noob days the triology... Or something like that. Girl: So you looking for company or sex or something? Me: Something like that. Girl: Cool because you see my friend over there, he is gay too and...*breaking bad Doc tells Walter he has cancer sound* Last time I painted my nails black just because IT LOOKED FUCKING AWESOME OKAY!

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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my dick is 2 inches

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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