Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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