- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 lies

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

You allergic to semen?

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

Lesbihonest

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

whats up ho

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*