boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Drink this!

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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-You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -You look like a rapist.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!