He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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who wants to play EPAR

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!