Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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