Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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"Next!"

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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my dick is 2 inches

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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