Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

Wanna have sex?

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Are you from Wales, because...well...

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!