You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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are you on fire?

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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