Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Have you met Ted?

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!