Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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-I love you.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!