Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!