-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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are you on fire?

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all in all it was a good orgy

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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