- Anti-Pickup Line

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

Your skin would make a nice coat.

Not a pickup line, but sincerity: Look for somebody you like, it does not matter what in particular you love about this person, so lets put me as the guy in two examples. Me: Lovely scarf you got there. Woman: Here take it. Me: Wow. Its no typical me to be into women's clothing in fact I do not give a damn about clothing at all, so I ask my female friends to buy clothes for me to pick up what they think I look my best in, I mean what is wrong by looking good in the eyes of your girls eh? but I must really have loved that scarf, because it was no pick up failure, because in this example I sincerely loved that scarf... Now this one. Me: I love that scarf you got there. Woman: Sigh, take it and leave me alone. Me: Here, have it back, I do not like the scarf, I like how beautiful you make the scarf look, are you willing to give me a chance, to get to know the girl that can make this scarf so beautiful? You are female and resist me? That is okay, you do however give me the motivation to become a better person, so that you might give me another chance, sometime if we meet again, and if we do not, thank you for giving me so much already. Honesty Pros: No lies Cons: I am experienced with being myself P Lies: Pros: Hey a free scarf I pretend to like yay? Cons: If you have what it takes, why do you then have to lie? Then you are not only lying to her, but also to yourself. And if your lie works, how many lies will you have to keep creating, until the fear of failure rather than the peace and love, breaks your heart and hers? Moral: Sure you know now you lie about the scarf, about her shirt, about her wig, and you lose a lot... But if you had to lie about it, admit it or live in self denial: You lost nothing sir! You never had it in the first place

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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