Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!