Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Jdkfk

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!