You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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sex me.

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!