I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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"Don't scream"

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Lesbihonest

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!