- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S , OFF!"

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book