You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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I have no gag reflex.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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You look... clean

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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imgonna r@pe you

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!