Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Do you live around here often?

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!