- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... everyone runs out screaming Batman: facepalm Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

"Hmm...you'll do."

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!