Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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