Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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-I love you.

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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I've got candy.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!