- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

I think I shit myself

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

Soon

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

Glass Basketball

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book