You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

thumb_up thumb_down -180

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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imgonna r@pe you

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Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +94

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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