-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Glass Basketball

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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"Don't scream"

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Lesbihonest

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!