Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!