Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!