-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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-Get in the Van

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Do you live around here often?

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!