I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Walking to your car alone later?

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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"You'll do."

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!