Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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