You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

thumb_up thumb_down -149

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

thumb_up thumb_down +97

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

thumb_up thumb_down -70

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -231

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +35

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

thumb_up thumb_down -6

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +82

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

-Get in the Van

thumb_up thumb_down -4

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

thumb_up thumb_down +66

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!