Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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You allergic to semen?

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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- You look really nice - I know

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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