guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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Wanna have sex?

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!