- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

jack sanders

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

Im gonna rape you..

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book