Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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