Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

thumb_up thumb_down +66

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

thumb_up thumb_down -21

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Jdkfk

thumb_up thumb_down +133

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

thumb_up thumb_down -150

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

thumb_up thumb_down +144

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +43

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +51

So when' the baby due?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Nice legs what time do they open

thumb_up thumb_down -92

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Eat me, I'm organic!

thumb_up thumb_down -51

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!