While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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-Get in the Van

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!