A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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greetings clarisse...

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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