- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

I'll punch ya!

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book