Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

Boy : Gurle: hi

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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