-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!