Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!