- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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"You'll do."

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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You look... clean

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!