It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

I'll eat your poop

"Next!"

-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

Still a better love story than Twilight

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

Jdkfk

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!