- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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my dick is 2 inches

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!