- Anti-Pickup Line

- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

Not a pickup line, but sincerity: Look for somebody you like, it does not matter what in particular you love about this person, so lets put me as the guy in two examples. Me: Lovely scarf you got there. Woman: Here take it. Me: Wow. Its no typical me to be into women's clothing in fact I do not give a damn about clothing at all, so I ask my female friends to buy clothes for me to pick up what they think I look my best in, I mean what is wrong by looking good in the eyes of your girls eh? but I must really have loved that scarf, because it was no pick up failure, because in this example I sincerely loved that scarf... Now this one. Me: I love that scarf you got there. Woman: Sigh, take it and leave me alone. Me: Here, have it back, I do not like the scarf, I like how beautiful you make the scarf look, are you willing to give me a chance, to get to know the girl that can make this scarf so beautiful? You are female and resist me? That is okay, you do however give me the motivation to become a better person, so that you might give me another chance, sometime if we meet again, and if we do not, thank you for giving me so much already. Honesty Pros: No lies Cons: I am experienced with being myself P Lies: Pros: Hey a free scarf I pretend to like yay? Cons: If you have what it takes, why do you then have to lie? Then you are not only lying to her, but also to yourself. And if your lie works, how many lies will you have to keep creating, until the fear of failure rather than the peace and love, breaks your heart and hers? Moral: Sure you know now you lie about the scarf, about her shirt, about her wig, and you lose a lot... But if you had to lie about it, admit it or live in self denial: You lost nothing sir! You never had it in the first place

Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p** makes a happy c*

I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

I hate you already.

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

So when' the baby due?

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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