jack sanders

thumb_up thumb_down -88

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

thumb_up thumb_down -147

Five dollar women... WOO!

thumb_up thumb_down -116

you actually look alright with the lights on.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

thumb_up thumb_down +144

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

thumb_up thumb_down -183

hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +155

Walking to your car alone later?

thumb_up thumb_down +140

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

thumb_up thumb_down +286

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +357

"Don't scream"

thumb_up thumb_down +90

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

thumb_up thumb_down +233

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +95

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

I have no gag reflex.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +233

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

thumb_up thumb_down +174

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!