He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Welcome to DIE!

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!