- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: Heart attack

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

I'll eat your poop

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book