Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!