M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +120

M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

thumb_up thumb_down +133

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

thumb_up thumb_down +577

"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

thumb_up thumb_down +165

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

thumb_up thumb_down +179

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +268

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

thumb_up thumb_down +449

As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

thumb_up thumb_down +120

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

thumb_up thumb_down +221

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

thumb_up thumb_down +83

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

thumb_up thumb_down +211

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

thumb_up thumb_down +134

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +73

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

thumb_up thumb_down +167

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!