On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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I know what you guys are all thinking when you read my crazy stuff below: "That guy is crazy as fuck" My reply? Yeah I admit it, I get crazy as fuck when I and two or more ladies fuck for more than eight hours, my life is so sad. Anyway... I am chillaxing again, getting old here, not sure if I can go another round, soon I am gonna have to lie down and let the ladies do some work too... Wish me luck girls! Guys go fuck yourself its all you got. Anyway, I saw this famous book today: ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF MEN. I Lolled, someday I am gonna write ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF WOMEN TO YOUR BED... YOu might learn something girls... Where I live and stuff ;) You see I dont even lead them here anymore, they come to me! AND IN RETURN I COME IN THEM! AND THEY COME FOR ME! AND WITH EACH OTHE... ...Bitch opened the window (not my wife, our bitch) I am sweaty, the bedsheets are wet and... Rebecca is nice and all, cutest girl ever loved anal, but damn she is stupid. Sorry Harris, but you know your sistah has more curves than a racetrack... Harris if you ever read this, stop calling me SON all the time my bro from another ho. My point Harris, is that regardless of your sistah being smart maybe just pretending to be stupid, a girl with the face of an angel and the body of the goddess of sex dont need to use her brains DAD! YOU KNOW DAD! I JUST FUCKED YOUR SISTER DAD! CAN YOU HEAR HOW WRONG IT IS! YOU CANT CALL ME SON LIKE DAT!

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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