- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!