What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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I'll eat your poop

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"Next!"

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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Jdkfk

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!