boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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I've got candy.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!