- Anti-Pickup Line

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? looks down pants Meh!

Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

Sex?

sound of zipper

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

greetings clarisse...

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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