-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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-Get in the Van

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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Do you live around here often?

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!