-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

thumb_up thumb_down +701

Jdkfk

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

thumb_up thumb_down -192

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down +122

-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Still a better love story than Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down -14

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

i am with stupid l l l \/

thumb_up thumb_down +211

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

thumb_up thumb_down +66

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

thumb_up thumb_down +216

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

thumb_up thumb_down -79

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

thumb_up thumb_down -57

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -8

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!