M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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-Do you like me? -No

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Are your prices by the hour

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!