-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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"You'll do."

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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You look... clean

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!