I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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