Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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I have a gun.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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