-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

thumb_up thumb_down +197

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

thumb_up thumb_down +247

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

thumb_up thumb_down +213

I have no gag reflex.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

thumb_up thumb_down +315

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

thumb_up thumb_down -108

Your body would look good in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +148

Walking to your car alone later?

thumb_up thumb_down +140

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -103

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

thumb_up thumb_down +77

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +305

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

thumb_up thumb_down -241

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +322

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

thumb_up thumb_down +228

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

thumb_up thumb_down +334

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

thumb_up thumb_down +253

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +87

You look... clean

thumb_up thumb_down +82

- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

thumb_up thumb_down +261

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +269

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!