- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

hey Herpes Go Away!

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book