Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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