Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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