Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!