- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. unzips pants

Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book