- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book