If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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I hate you already.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!