- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!