M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!