Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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You look... clean

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!