Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!