the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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I think I shit myself

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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