- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

Get your coat love. I've got a knife

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book