He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!