showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Want to go out? No

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Golf.

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Hey, you want a ride?

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You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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Are your prices by the hour

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!