Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!