The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

thumb_up thumb_down -20

As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

thumb_up thumb_down -35

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down +101

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

I take the the out of psychotherapist

thumb_up thumb_down +33

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down +62

You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

thumb_up thumb_down +40

You smell just like my mom...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Big Black Guy: Yo, whats your name there sexy? My name is Tyrone Bigs Dicks, but my NBA teammates call me Mr.BigDingDong, I play for the HUGE Chicago BIGC0cks if I seem familiar to you ;),... Woman: Wow, awesome ;) and why do they call you that? Big Black Guy:Sigh... I was afraid you would ask... I actually got no idea... But I do not think there are any Big HUGE hard facts... Woman: :/ Big Black Guy: Where you going? Hey! Moral: Lol cannot stop laughing myself! "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! WE PRESENT TO YOU THE HUGE CHICAGO BIGC0CKS!

thumb_up thumb_down +166

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!