My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

adam burdass

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

haha

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

your boobs are bigger than my nose

Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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