Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!