When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Do you live around here often?

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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