- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book