Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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I'll punch ya!

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!