HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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I hate you already.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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