Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

thumb_up thumb_down +80

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

thumb_up thumb_down +104

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

thumb_up thumb_down +61

I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

thumb_up thumb_down +47

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

thumb_up thumb_down -182

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

thumb_up thumb_down +65

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!