- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Soon

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book