Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!