Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

jack sanders

So when' the baby due?

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

Im gonna rape you..

Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!