*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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