How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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adam burdass

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!