Hey wanna smash pissers?

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

are you on fire?

all in all it was a good orgy

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

Stable relationships are for horses.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!