Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

your almost as hot as my wife

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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