Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

Woman: lol you are get nervous when I speak to you! Man: Yeah, I get nervous when fucking ugly attention seeking bitches speak to me, nothing personal its just you being a fucking ugly attention seeking bitch which happens to be speaking to me. Moral: Flawless Victory.

I'm desperate, you'll do.

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

adam burdass

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

haha

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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