Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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greetings clarisse...

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!