H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!