Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

thumb_up thumb_down -43

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

thumb_up thumb_down -46

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

thumb_up thumb_down +41

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

thumb_up thumb_down +86

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

thumb_up thumb_down -100

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

thumb_up thumb_down +152

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down +169

What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

thumb_up thumb_down -137

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

thumb_up thumb_down +234

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!