Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!