- Anti-Pickup Line

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

I love Mark Wahlberg!

Hey girl! Faggot.

If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

i want a blowjob bitch lifts her hijab

Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! Connection discontinued Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!