i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -174

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

How much do you like peanut butter?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

thumb_up thumb_down -143

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

thumb_up thumb_down +65

At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

thumb_up thumb_down -100

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

thumb_up thumb_down +158

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

thumb_up thumb_down +95

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +100

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

thumb_up thumb_down -78

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- You look really nice - I know

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!