Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!