- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book