- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh blushing or something Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! Woman slams man with baseball bat Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!