"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Hey can I have your number? No.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

I'll eat your poop

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

Give me some sugar... honey.

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!