Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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"Don't scream"

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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"You'll do."

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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You look... clean

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!