Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!