- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

Man: Dayuuuum slaps ass Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

Stable relationships are for horses.

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Are your prices by the hour

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

"Next!"

Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book