Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Drink this!

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

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Golf.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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Are your prices by the hour

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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I think I shit myself

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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