showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!