Your body would look good in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +162

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

thumb_up thumb_down +236

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +227

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

thumb_up thumb_down +165

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +113

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +309

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

thumb_up thumb_down -223

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

thumb_up thumb_down +339

"You'll do."

thumb_up thumb_down +130

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

thumb_up thumb_down +215

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +323

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

thumb_up thumb_down +271

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Your skin would make a nice coat.

thumb_up thumb_down +248

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

thumb_up thumb_down +339

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +86

You look... clean

thumb_up thumb_down +109

- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

thumb_up thumb_down +267

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +129

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +290

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

thumb_up thumb_down +375

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

thumb_up thumb_down +14

-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +148

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!