Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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"Don't scream"

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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cockface

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!