Do you live around here often?

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Golf.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!