- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

is your name angel cuz that's all i see? is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

Eat me, I'm organic!

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book