Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!