who wants to play EPAR

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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I have a gun.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!