I have no gag reflex.

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!