I think I shit myself

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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You look exactly like my sister.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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