Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Welcome to DIE!

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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Walking to your car alone later?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!