I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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You allergic to semen?

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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- You look really nice - I know

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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I think I shit myself

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!