I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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So when' the baby due?

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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Want to go out? No

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!