- Anti-Pickup Line

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

-I love you.

I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

-Get in the Van

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... door slams

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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