You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

Sorry to take up space, but this is simply my reply to the vile threats to that person whose line starts with "what did you say little bitch", know that he has no idea what he is talking about, and is possibly a simple mental case. Seriously, who the hell are you? And even so, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah with your terrible lack of discipline there is no way in hell you are or would become a soldier. You know very well that the navy would never waste its resources on helping your selfish and childish acts of revenge (or whatever you seek) Death threats will get you nowhere, and you can fully threaten me, but know that I live in Norway, and you can trace me and send your whole unit (if you had one) but by then you would solely be responsible for acts of war and be properly executed for international treason. Know your place civilian, we fight to protect you, do not shame us with your childish vendetta. Drill Sergeant Axel "Strength" Godøy. Aka "Moral Man" Ps: Threaten anyone again, and I will fill a full report and assure that your IP is banned from this network, you are shaming your people, your country and all that fight to defend world peace, try me out and see, give me that luxury.

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

Walking to your car alone later?

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

You allergic to semen?

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

haha

Boy : Gurle: hi

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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