Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

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Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!