-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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sex me.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!