Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Me: Have you ever dreamed, of owning a thousand sparkly gems? Woman: No why? You got some? Me: No, but now but now we can dream together t under the sparkling stars under the sky... Moral: Hey, she said aww... And touched my hand before chatting with her friend... and as I turned my hand... was a piece of paper, with a written number...

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!