Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

thumb_up thumb_down -136

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +145

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

thumb_up thumb_down +153

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

thumb_up thumb_down +75

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

thumb_up thumb_down +73

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

thumb_up thumb_down -40

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

thumb_up thumb_down -70

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

thumb_up thumb_down +87

You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

thumb_up thumb_down +118

Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

thumb_up thumb_down

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

thumb_up thumb_down +58

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!