-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

thumb_up thumb_down +478

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

thumb_up thumb_down -27

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

thumb_up thumb_down +210

Jdkfk

thumb_up thumb_down +149

I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

thumb_up thumb_down -114

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +307

Your body would look good in my trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +175

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

thumb_up thumb_down -127

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

thumb_up thumb_down +733

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

thumb_up thumb_down +91

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

adam burdass

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Stable relationships are for horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -39

He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

thumb_up thumb_down -84

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!