Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

Whatever I'll just date myself.

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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