Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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