i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

my dick is 2 inches

Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

i am with stupid l l l \/

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!