My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Soon

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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