Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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so... you're a girl,huh?

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!