You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!