-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

- You look really nice - I know

Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

rohypnol. rape drug

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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