Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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cockface

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!