-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!