Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!