He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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I'll eat your poop

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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Jdkfk

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!