M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Jdkfk

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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adam burdass

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!