What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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Soon

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

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imgonna r@pe you

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!