Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!