*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!