Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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I'll eat your poop

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!