Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

Macho Man: Release the BOGUS! Woman: What? Super Macho Man: Never mind... no one will get this anyways... wanna go to McDonalds and get a Little Mac? Woman: Ok but I want a Big mac! Macho Man: What is a Big mac? Is it stronger than a little Mac? Woman: Huh? What do you mean? Macho Man: Sigh... and I actually fought Mike Tyson you know... Woman: So you are a boxer huh? Who are you gonna fight next? Macho Man: Sigh... Mr.Dream... Woman: Who the hell is that? Macho Man: a nobody...

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

For you that think your family are too overprotective when it comes to sex, this was my story as a teenager. Mom: Hi guys! Me and ladyfriend: Hi mom! This is my ladyfriend: (insert your name if you are female) Dad: Woho! Good catch son! *claps me on shoulder* Mom: Dont worry, you guys just go right up and "study" eh ;) eh ;) and we are gonna put the music REALLY LOUD down here! And there is no need to be ashamed of stains nor anything. Dad: No we understand ;) ;) ;) Girl: Uh... you invited me just to study right? Me: Believe it or not I did... Dad: Yeah you two young ones go study! Remember condom though! ;) Girl: Axel! WTF?! *leaves* Me: Mom.. Dad! WTF!? I dont know anything about algebra (not even to this day, and I am almost 30) Dad: Algebra eh? ;) Next time give her a good "algebra". Me: Mom tell that moron tha... Mom: Relax son, I understand that you boys have desires and the next time you take her with you, you dont need to be ashamed or come up with excuse.. Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Moral: To believe I learned most my ways by having ladyfriends... despite my parents... Mom and Dad overprotective? Good... trust me!

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Wanna have sex?

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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