Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

thumb_up thumb_down +103

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

thumb_up thumb_down +52

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

thumb_up thumb_down +192

Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

thumb_up thumb_down -73

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

thumb_up thumb_down +141

Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

thumb_up thumb_down -57

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

thumb_up thumb_down -3

-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

thumb_up thumb_down +94

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -171

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!