I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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I think your cute. I though you were cute, until I saw you...

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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