- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

hey Herpes Go Away!

Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book