Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

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who wants to play EPAR

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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