Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

I hate you already.

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!