And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Stop Footing Around

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Are your prices by the hour

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!