are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!