- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

fancy going halves on a bastard?

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book