- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Girl walks into restaurant - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

hey bitch

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. unzips pants

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

who wants to play EPAR

Man: Wanna come home watch my REALLY big stamp collection? ;) ;) Girl: Sure ;) ;) At home: Man: Why are you taking your clothes off? Girl: Uh... nevermind... Moments later: Man: And this one is a rare misprint from 1980, and this one is actually quite common but.., Girl: Sigh... :(

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....