Lesbihonest

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So when' the baby due?

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"You'll do."

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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You look... clean

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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