Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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