Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Girl: Hey classy older man, wanna get to know me better? Man: Sigh... sorry lady I am the man that played Gandalf in that... shitty lords of something movie... Girl: so what? Man: Sigh... you know.. Gandalf the white and Gandalf the gay...? Girl: Huh? Man: Ever seen the X-men? Girl: Yeah... Man: ONE WORD: FAGNETO! Girl: uh.. okay.. "leaves". Ian McKellen: Sigh... should have come out of the closet sooner...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!