-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!