- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

Drink this!

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

will you marry me

Guy texting random girl: u must b wearing space pants cuz ur as is out of this world no im wearing baseball pants cuz my as is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one sticks up middle finger

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book