Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!