Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

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I AM LOVE! I AM LOVE! Moral: Seriously, I have never been QUUUUUITE this happy, shouting I am love is probably not the best move, thanks for your thumbs ups, thumbs downs, and while my work is done here, that does not mean Ill leave, I need to keep my reputation as the fourth, smoothest, aka pointless invention in the world, and unless you want to count that girl Justina Bitcherina, that means that I am the smoothest man alive, THANK YOU THANK YOU! And feel free to vote this down if you cant handle being thanked by the smoothest most awesome man alive. Hey, I get it, we cant all be me ;)

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!