Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

thumb_up thumb_down +92

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

thumb_up thumb_down +207

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +83

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

your almost as hot as my wife

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

can i take a dump in your mouth?

thumb_up thumb_down -127

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +155

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!