Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

Nice legs what time do they open

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!