Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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I hate you already.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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Man: Hey... wanna join me at my big mansion and have a friendly discussion? Girl: A mansion eh? Well.. sure! At the mansion: Man: MUAHAHAHAHA! I am gonna r@pe you! Girl: NO PLEASE! I am not drun.. uh not ready yet! 5 minutes later: Woman: OUCH! ouchie! That hurts! Stop it! ITS TOO HARD! Man: HAHA AND TAKE THIS GRAPE! AND THIS GRAPE! Oh... never mind this is one has turned a raisin... AND THIS GRAPE!... so uh... anyway wanna move on to the "lovers room" later? Want some more Champagne by the way? AND THIS GRAPE, AND THIS ONE IS REALLY BIG AND HARD! GET READY! Woman: Yeah sure... sigh... just get done with this weirdness already... damn these eccentric millionaires... OUCH! OOF!

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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You smell just like my mom...

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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adam burdass

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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free candy....

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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