Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Penis. I got it

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!