Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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-I love you.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!