Soon

thumb_up thumb_down -75

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down -42

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +160

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

thumb_up thumb_down +235

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +115

Are your prices by the hour

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

thumb_up thumb_down -1

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!