Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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adam burdass

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!