Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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-I love you.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!