"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

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"Don't scream"

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I have no gag reflex.

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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At a drinking place :P: Man: You dare mock the great Sh... Woman: I am sorry I did not mean to humiliate that much... ehehehehe you are just a stupid jlttle nerd and all... :) Man: You will die moral... Woman: What?! Uh... did I mention how awesome you are? What was your name again? Man: You weak pathetic fool! 8 hours later: Woman: Please! Let me stay! Just for a little longer! Barman: Sigh... fine have a drink on the house. Woman: *sips drink and dies* Barman: Mission complete sir, she died instantly! Man: Instantly without pain? THAT WAS PATHETIC! Now... SUICIDE! Barman: No I refuse! Man: Drink it... or face the true WRATH OF SHAO KAHN! Barman: The true wrath? ANYTHING BUT THAT!*Punches himself in the balls hoping he dies from the pain, passes out and tries again* Man Is That your best? That was pathetic! Its official, you suck! Bhahahahahahaha! Moral: Fear the Wrath of Shao Kahn!

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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