If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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So when' the baby due?

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Sex?

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!