Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!