Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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So when' the baby due?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!