-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!