guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

Do you live around here often?

Soon

i am with stupid l l l \/

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

The anti pickup line hard to believe: Woman: Me so hony! Me wan lose virginity to you! I make free love for hours! Man: Wow, are you that popular Asian supermodel known for her enormous tits? I heard you really are virgin! Damn I am single and all but I kinda promised my ex girlfriend I would help her get back together with the guy she cheated on me with. Woman: But me so hony! I wait for u for many many long time! But I wait for u only for a month is looong time! Man: Eh, I kinda promised I would fix her washing machine too, and then I have to cut her grandmothers toenails and... Anyways sorry I cant this month :( Moral: Yeah like that is ever going to happen! (then again I tend to expect too much)

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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