Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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