Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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will you marry me

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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