Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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GIRL: I bet you say that to all the girls you meet. MAN: How much you want to bet? No wait, I better not make that bet. (or) MAN: Only half the ones I get this far in conversation with. The other half are a little bit easier to get in bed with.

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!