Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!