- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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