-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

I have no gag reflex.

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

nice kid... want another?

Walking to your car alone later?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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