Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!