Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

thumb_up thumb_down -135

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +93

You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -123

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

thumb_up thumb_down -84

-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

thumb_up thumb_down -28

-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

thumb_up thumb_down -53

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Still a better love story than Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

thumb_up thumb_down +63

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

-Get in the Van

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

thumb_up thumb_down -176

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

thumb_up thumb_down +251

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!