"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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Female=You Son of a B*tch! Male=Hi Mum!

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!