"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!