- Anti-Pickup Line

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! shows me boobs Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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