Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Im gonna rape you..

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!