Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Want to go out? No

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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