If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Sex?

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!