Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

thumb_up thumb_down -68

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down +26

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

thumb_up thumb_down +89

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

thumb_up thumb_down -126

Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

thumb_up thumb_down +82

I'd hit that.... with a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

thumb_up thumb_down +145

Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

thumb_up thumb_down -81

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!