Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

hey baby i just came in my pants

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

You look exactly like my sister.

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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