On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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are you on fire?

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!