Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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You look exactly like my sister.

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!