Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!