Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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"You'll do."

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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Im gonna rape you..

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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If you go out with me there might be some smegma in it for you.

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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-Get in the Van

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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For you that think your family are too overprotective when it comes to sex, this was my story as a teenager. Mom: Hi guys! Me and ladyfriend: Hi mom! This is my ladyfriend: (insert your name if you are female) Dad: Woho! Good catch son! *claps me on shoulder* Mom: Dont worry, you guys just go right up and "study" eh ;) eh ;) and we are gonna put the music REALLY LOUD down here! And there is no need to be ashamed of stains nor anything. Dad: No we understand ;) ;) ;) Girl: Uh... you invited me just to study right? Me: Believe it or not I did... Dad: Yeah you two young ones go study! Remember condom though! ;) Girl: Axel! WTF?! *leaves* Me: Mom.. Dad! WTF!? I dont know anything about algebra (not even to this day, and I am almost 30) Dad: Algebra eh? ;) Next time give her a good "algebra". Me: Mom tell that moron tha... Mom: Relax son, I understand that you boys have desires and the next time you take her with you, you dont need to be ashamed or come up with excuse.. Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Moral: To believe I learned most my ways by having ladyfriends... despite my parents... Mom and Dad overprotective? Good... trust me!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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