Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

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-hey, come here a minute.

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!