If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!