- Anti-Pickup Line

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. unzips pants

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

Stop Footing Around

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol leaves Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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