You smell just like my mom...

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!