i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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why are you you touching me ????

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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"Don't scream"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!