*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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