-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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