Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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will you marry me

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Im gonna rape you..

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Lesbihonest

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!