Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

thumb_up thumb_down +383

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +139

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

thumb_up thumb_down +348

hey you look like a good practice girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

thumb_up thumb_down +698

Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

thumb_up thumb_down +87

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +44

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

thumb_up thumb_down -84

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

thumb_up thumb_down -106

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

thumb_up thumb_down

Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

thumb_up thumb_down +44

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!