Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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will you marry me

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!