Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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nice kid... want another?

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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"Don't scream"

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Drink this!

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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M: What's your name? W: Jenny. M: What's your number? W: eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-yie-yen

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!