Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

Glass Basketball

hey bitch

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

"You'll do."

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!