M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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You look... clean

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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Not a pickup line, but sincerity: Look for somebody you like, it does not matter what in particular you love about this person, so lets put me as the guy in two examples. Me: Lovely scarf you got there. Woman: Here take it. Me: Wow. Its no typical me to be into women's clothing in fact I do not give a damn about clothing at all, so I ask my female friends to buy clothes for me to pick up what they think I look my best in, I mean what is wrong by looking good in the eyes of your girls eh? but I must really have loved that scarf, because it was no pick up failure, because in this example I sincerely loved that scarf... Now this one. Me: I love that scarf you got there. Woman: Sigh, take it and leave me alone. Me: Here, have it back, I do not like the scarf, I like how beautiful you make the scarf look, are you willing to give me a chance, to get to know the girl that can make this scarf so beautiful? You are female and resist me? That is okay, you do however give me the motivation to become a better person, so that you might give me another chance, sometime if we meet again, and if we do not, thank you for giving me so much already. Honesty Pros: No lies Cons: I am experienced with being myself P Lies: Pros: Hey a free scarf I pretend to like yay? Cons: If you have what it takes, why do you then have to lie? Then you are not only lying to her, but also to yourself. And if your lie works, how many lies will you have to keep creating, until the fear of failure rather than the peace and love, breaks your heart and hers? Moral: Sure you know now you lie about the scarf, about her shirt, about her wig, and you lose a lot... But if you had to lie about it, admit it or live in self denial: You lost nothing sir! You never had it in the first place

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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