girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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