roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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