I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Male: Get in the van.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!