-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!