Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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all in all it was a good orgy

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Get in the van.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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greetings clarisse...

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!