Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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sound of zipper

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Male: Get in the van.

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!