Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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