Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

How much do you like peanut butter?

Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

I have no gag reflex.

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!