Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!