Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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haha

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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