- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

I'm desperate, you'll do.

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book