Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!