-Do you like me? -No

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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haha

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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your almost as hot as my wife

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!