How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

sound of zipper

Hey girl! Faggot.

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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