-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Does it smell in here or it just you?

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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I have a gun.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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At a drinking place :P: Man: You dare mock the great Sh... Woman: I am sorry I did not mean to humiliate that much... ehehehehe you are just a stupid jlttle nerd and all... :) Man: You will die moral... Woman: What?! Uh... did I mention how awesome you are? What was your name again? Man: You weak pathetic fool! 8 hours later: Woman: Please! Let me stay! Just for a little longer! Barman: Sigh... fine have a drink on the house. Woman: *sips drink and dies* Barman: Mission complete sir, she died instantly! Man: Instantly without pain? THAT WAS PATHETIC! Now... SUICIDE! Barman: No I refuse! Man: Drink it... or face the true WRATH OF SHAO KAHN! Barman: The true wrath? ANYTHING BUT THAT!*Punches himself in the balls hoping he dies from the pain, passes out and tries again* Man Is That your best? That was pathetic! Its official, you suck! Bhahahahahahaha! Moral: Fear the Wrath of Shao Kahn!

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!