Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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