Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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I think I shit myself

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!