Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

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Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! *shows me boobs* Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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