Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

I have a gun.

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

I'll eat your poop

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!