Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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I'll punch ya!

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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Do you live around here often?

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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