- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

imgonna r@pe you

Nice legs what time do they open

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

"Hmm...you'll do."

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

Male: I have a large penis female: so do i.

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

Do you want to see something swell?

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book