- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

- You look really nice - I know

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...goes into the guys restroom with her....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

Stable relationships are for horses.

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book