Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

Eat me, I'm organic!

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!