Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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"OMG A SAMSUNG!" Lol, thats cool man, as for the car, the engine is shiny and flawless, (you know for a fiat) and I have not used it since I you know "bought it" as in won it from my ex while playing poker? Id give it back to her if she was not such a bitch. Honestly dude, its a fiat, and that piece of shit you call a car, I mean man, we have been towed from the free way like six times already? XD And that is just the few times I want to sit in that piece of shit XD I mean the seats pop off and there is "custom space to transport marijuana there man XD" I seriously hope you bought it that way, because stoners aint my friends. Seriously dude, the Fiat (aka "car") is yours, you know that you are bankrupt because you keep trying to fix that piece of shit on wheels of yours XD, and hey, surprise kiddo, I renewed the engine, so its new and shiny, and free, and fuck if not only the engine itself is worth ten more times than... A billion of those pieces of shit you drive XD No seriously, you know me, Im The Hannibal, I am the beast but I like it classy, and its pretty embarrassing sitting on that piece of shit you call for a car. I know we are from different worlds pal, but take it, just gave myself a bonus at work (legal of course) but I got to say it... "A SAMSUNG OMG" XD And yeah, I know you been eyeballing that "car" aka Fiat, its yours whenever you want it, just tell people I am leasing it to you (I mean it I really do, thats my only condition) Moral: "I DRIVE PIECES OF SHIT FOR BREAKFAST!" PROTIP FOR GETTING ANYWHERE IN YOUR CAR: Put it The opposite way, and have the towing car tow you TOWARDS the place you want to get to XD (hey, how many times you been towed JUST from the freeway? I mean I hate hunting, but do you really use that shit in the Forrest too? Answer here, be real, and come get your car.

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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