I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Do you want to see something swell?

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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