- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

sound of zipper

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

greetings clarisse...

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book