Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Lesbihonest

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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"You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..."

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!