Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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why are you you touching me ????

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!