Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!