- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

I just killed my wife. What should I do?

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

I'll eat your poop

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

Glass Basketball

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book