"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

Nice legs what time do they open

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

- You look really nice - I know

Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

hey baby i just came in my pants

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!