If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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"Are you a parking ticket?" "What?" "You’ve got fine written all over you"

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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