Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

Penis. I got it

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

Eat me, I'm organic!

-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

free candy....

I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!