Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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You allergic to semen?

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

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I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

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Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!