You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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who wants to play EPAR

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Hey, you want a ride?

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Boy: Wanna go see a movie. Girl: Which movie. Boy: Texas Chainsaw Massicure. Girl: What is it about. Boy: Unicorns and Rainbows. Girl: Let's go!

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Want to go out? No

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!