- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!