Hey girl! Faggot.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!