Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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"Next!"

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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