"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!