Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Soon

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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