"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

Have you met Ted?

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

Lol, again I am on a adrenaline... well let me be subtle... GANGBANGING WITH ANAL, PUSSY, TWO GIRLS FIGHTING OVER ONE COCK (Ladies there is enough down there to share)... ...Anyway, it reminds me of when I was 21, and I was like "You know what? Threesomes and that kinda stuff is nice and all, but I am a grown up now and... ...TSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs Today I am 32, Married, (Hey my wife is into stuff, so its not cheating if she is the one enjoying while I videotape sometimes okay? (Never on cam, you crazy? You cant sell that shit! Okay I am kidding, the collection is personal) Ps: Seriously girls, one thing is that you smear yourself with my cumshots okay? But Hugging me afterwards? DATS SICK! (Name is Nero, I am not black, I am Hispanic, Latino Sexy... Well, actually when I take a look in the mirror I go, "meh well some guys got the looks"... ...I wont lie though, either my looks dont matter shite, or girls really like it...

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

Sex?

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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