-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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I have no gag reflex.

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!