Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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nice kid... want another?

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!