Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!