(in a loud club) -Do you wanna dance?! -Umm, with YOU? NO! -What?! oh no, i said, "you look FAT in those PANTS!"

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Male: I would die for you... Female: Prove it

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U togather Female: Oh really, because if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together.

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-I’m a photographer. I’ve been looking for a face like yours. -I’m a plastic surgeon. I’ve been looking for a face like yours

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- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

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- Haven't I seen you someplace before? - Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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-What would you say if I asked you to marry me? -Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Hey, you want a ride?

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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