- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

Are your prices by the hour

At a concert guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

I have a gun.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

-I love you.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book