the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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I've got candy.

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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will you marry me

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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