Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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I've got candy.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!