Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!