My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Are your prices by the hour

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!