Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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