Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!