Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!