- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

- I know how to please a woman. - Then please leave me alone.

Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

Hey, do you want to dance? No.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! guitar solo begins

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book